I have not written anything meaningful in a few weeks. I cannot seem to put any of my thoughts down on paper. I want to share my experiences, to draw insight and reflect on them. But, I am stuck. I feel a disconnect with myself. I don’t feel like I am the same person I was in Africa, nor am I the person I was in Europe. It’s strange to think that I was there, away from home. It’s unsettling to know that I am back, I don’t know why. I wonder how much I’ve changed, if at all. It’s a little more than confusing to sort all this out. So maybe that’s why I haven’t yet bothered to really reflect on my experiences. I am more interested in shallow things like cleaning up my room, catching up on TV shows, listening to songs I missed out over the summer… though while I do these things, I am uncomfortable deep down inside because I know there’s some deep thinking I need to do to create some sort of closure for myself from this big trip away.
I have not heard the right song, or had the right conversation, yet. I don’t even know.
One reply on “(to be) inspired”
Re-entry from being overseas or anywhere out of your comfort zone for an extended period of time is always difficult. And if my memory serves me right, what you have written was true for me as well, whether I was returning from a short-term trip or from a stay of two years. It’s part of the process of discovery. Don’t push it; accept it, walk it, one day at a time.