Today was a difficult day to get through mostly because of the stress and fatigue that has been building up over the past few weeks. I was very emotional because I put so much stress on myself for no good reason. I have to learn to let go, and be still. To reflect on silence and quiet, rather than the units of study that I plan to deliver. I am very thankful for the supportive cohort that I have, who are so empathetic and loving to each other as we all have our breaking points. It’s a very intense program, and I work part time on top of it. I will be glad to stop work completely in March, during the time I am teaching 100% in my practicum school. It will be good for me not to be balancing so many commitments at once; the full- time ness of practicum will be overwhelming enough.
There are so many great lessons that I am learning while on practicum. Still, some mornings I feel so overwhelmed by the previous day that I feel uncertain about my ability to continue. Though I am almost completely prepared in terms of my unit planning because I started my research and planning early, I have come to realize how vulnerable I really am when I am the teacher in the classroom lesson. I push myself very hard, but I must learn to allow myself the processing time. This trial and error phase is inevitable, and I must be okay with falling and getting hurt a few times in order to learn the most important lessons about resilience in teaching. Overall, I am learning most about my style of planning and communicating.