life – Page 13 – discovery

Thinking of home.

At the end of the day I am exhausted. It’s tiring to be stared at all day. It’s tiring not being able to communicate in the same language with the people around us. It’s tiring knowing that a long bike ride awaits before home. This exhaustion has allowed to appreciate all the simple pleasures that exist in my Vancouver life.

The bike ride home is a long stretch of orange dirt road connecting the Busolwe town center to Mugulu. The bike I have is missing brakes on one hand, and the seat is half stripped of the cushion that was once there. Whenever trucks or motorbikes bass by, we must turn town into the ditch on the side of the road, which always throws me off. Literally. People stare. It’s always the same hill every ride to and from work that I have trouble with. I tell myself that people do this daily, that they don’t have pillows and a warm bed to go home to. That they don’t get to leave in three months’ time. That they work so much harder for so much less. That my frustration and complaining is petty. But in those moments of frustration, exhaustion, and embarrassment, I just want to be back home again, in Vancouver. I promise I will be so much more grateful for the essential things which we take for granted in North America.

The evening is cool. I am typing away on a bench outside our little house, watching the other families on the homestead work away to prepare dinner. I’m watching a beautifully blue bird fly with such excitement onto a tree to join his friends… while this is going on, the mother hen is feeding, with her seven little chicks trailing her. The rooster struts around majestically, while insects circle humans and animals with such curiosity. The geckos will be out to feed on these insects soon, and we shall see him as we do every night, on the walls in the room where we take our dinner conversation.

Where is…

The past two weeks after exams ended have been full of meetups and errands, on top of extra shifts I took on for last minute cash before I leave Vancouver. One night, after a particularly eventful day, my girl friend came over for a sleepover and she asked me a seemingly innocent question: Where is this place you’re going to? Mind you, I’ve been rambling about going to Uganda for the past four months, and so it caught me by surprise. “Uganda! What do you mean, ‘where am I going’, silly, I’m going to Africa!”

“But think about it again: what does that mean, ‘I’m going to Africa’?” she pressed, “Where is Africa?”

The thing I value most about friendships is the honest perspective I get on the important (and some less important) decisions I make… and in that moment I really, truly, appreciated her frankness with me. Though I’ve taken SOCI 435 with Professor Dawn Currie (an amazing sociology prof, by the way), and though I’ve written papers and read articles on the ethics and experiences of international service learning and international development… I was caught off guard, and I didn’t know what to answer with.

Africa is the second largest and second most populous continent after Asia. This is what you get when you Google “Africa”. I am going to Uganda, where it is often dubbed the ‘pearl of Africa’… so in my mind I have images of beautiful lakes, exotic animals, loving and hospitable people, all swept up in a perfectly scenic postcard photograph. “But where is Uganda??” my friend pressed.

I don’t know! I have no idea ‘where’ Africa is, much less ‘where’ Uganda is. These places haven’t yet been programmed into my mind’s geography… I only know the semantics of its existence. In some ways that is really sad, because there are people and animals and living beings who aren’t represented in my experience of the world. How can I not be as aware of the world as I should be, if we are all part of what we call ‘humankind’? What is it that allows us to live our daily lives often in blissful ignorance of what goes on in the world beyond the daily headlines?

I’m apprehensive as the week before my departure begins. I am a second closer to a trip that I truly, personally, believe will change how I view myself, my education, the world, people, life, love, and all things important in my college journey of self discovery. I’m excited for all this.. but just like with any new thing, it can be a difficult thing to adjust to, and to accept.

I think the most important question I will ask myself during my three months away will be: “Where is my knowledge of culture, being, identity, law, education, etc…. coming from? Where do I place myself in the global, grand scheme of things? Who am I as a student?” I hope I can come back to this question in four months and answer it with more wisdom than I can attempt to right now.

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“Where is my future headed, from this experience?”