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Preparation

The science lesson before spring break, I planted marigolds and nasturtium flowers with my grade 2/3 class. I tended them over spring break and was excited to bring them into the classroom for the students to measure and observe their plant growth. Tonight, the night before practicum begins, I come home to find them all dead. I was away for two days on the sunshine coast and had asked someone to water them. Either there was too much water, or the sunshine was too suffocating for the sprouting plants. I panicked.

I had planned to observe these plants throughout our whole science unit, but it seemed like it was all ruined. I cried in dismay, frustration, fear, anxiety, and insecurity. How can I teach children about plants when I clearly knew nothing about them? How am I going to come up with a lesson to replace it?

Then I realized that this was a lesson in itself. Not just for the kids to learn about the importance of balance in moisture, air, sunlight, and soil composition. It was a lesson for me to learn, right before practicum even starts, that things can and will change in an instant. I need to be adaptable, and think about the learning moments that each mistake or bloop affords.

Deep breaths, here’s to my certification practicum starting in the morning tomorrow.

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emotional processing

Today was a difficult day to get through mostly because of the stress and fatigue that has been building up over the past few weeks. I was very emotional because I put so much stress on myself for no good reason. I have to learn to let go, and be still. To reflect on silence and quiet, rather than the units of study that I plan to deliver. I am very thankful for the supportive cohort that I have, who are so empathetic and loving to each other as we all have our breaking points. It’s a very intense program, and I work part time on top of it. I will be glad to stop work completely in March, during the time I am teaching 100% in my practicum school. It will be good for me not to be balancing so many commitments at once; the full- time ness of practicum will be overwhelming enough.

There are so many great lessons that I am learning while on practicum. Still, some mornings I feel so overwhelmed by the previous day that I feel uncertain about my ability to continue. Though I am almost completely prepared in terms of my unit planning because I started my research and planning early, I have come to realize how vulnerable I really am when I am the teacher in the classroom lesson. I push myself very hard, but I must learn to allow myself the processing time. This trial and error phase is inevitable, and I must be okay with falling and getting hurt a few times in order to learn the most important lessons about resilience in teaching. Overall, I am learning most about my style of planning and communicating.

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A Teacher’s Learning Moments

Teaching is not just about the child’s learning process, but also about the development of the teacher. I chose the teaching profession because I am a student at heart, and I will get to learn all my life as an educator. Some learning moments, as recorded in my field journal on practicum and at work:

“Teaching is repetitive, structured like any other job, but to me it has more outcome. It is very satisfying. It requires me to serve as guide, practice humility, patience, love, and support. It requires me to be the best person I can be, to model good citizenship and work habits for my students. Sometimes I am tempted to give up, from exhaustion or burn out, but I always persevere because I think of teaching as a form of investment into these children’s lives. I believe that I make a difference. ”

“There are going to be some extremely rude students who can be so caught up in their own worlds/development that they will undoubtably test your boundaries. How do you react? By calling them out on their disrespect? Don’t take things personally. At heart, be patient and kind. Even the student eventually may admit that adolescence is when they are impatient and impulsive and blunt. They don’t mean to be offensive.”

“Hearing students think out loud is the most curious and amusing wonder.”

“Teaching is about dynamics: every mood and personality affects the classroom atmosphere. In the summer as a language instructor, I was tested on my patience every single day. My triggers were: students acting out, not taking their work seriously, constant disruptions, tedious slow- progressing days, sleepiness. But peace is: seeing students adopt good work habits, respectful attitudes towards each other, and confidence in their own ability to do well. Thinking about the positive outcomes allows me to stay constant and maintain as unaffected as I can be by the negative/ discouraging moments in my teaching day.”

“Students need spontaneous and flexible teachers to know that they can be confident and express themselves without fear of judgement. The classroom should be a safe space where they are unafraid to try new things.”

Inquiry questions I have:

How does the curriculum support differentiated teaching?
How does a structured classroom support learners better?
How are language learners supported in the school?
What are aspects of the school that ensure safety for students from different family and cultural backgrounds?
How can the theme of social responsibility be integrated into all subjects?
What is the role of a library program in the child’s developing literacy?
How are students encouraged to ask questions?
How can SmartBoards be better utilized in the classroom?
How does technology facilitate student learning? How can it be a tool for transforming literacy instruction?
Why are primary students not reading well? (are they?)

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