This book, [The Lover], was more familiar for me than other books, and it is most likely because of the movie released in 1992. It was not a completely different experience with texts, but indeed had a different impression on writings about her youth.
Every time I write the blog post, I feel like I focus on the broader subject and self-reflecting impression instead of the minutiae; and I think it also applies with this book.
I wanted to kill—my elder brother, I wanted to kill him, to get the better of him for once, just once, and see him die. I wanted to do it to remove from my mother’s sight the object of her love, that son of hers, to punish her for loving him so much, so badly […] (7)
The book is almost an autobiographical ficiton, recalling the memory of her childhood. She grew up in a family where father was already passed away, mother, after “a terrible business”, was loving her elder brother who is overly dominant and violent. Indeed, it is a disturbing environment to experience a puberty as a fifteen-year-old girl who was growing up in a foreign country.
[…] he understands what my mother means, this dishonor, he says. He says he himself couldn’t bear the thought if it were a question of marriage. I look at him. He looks back, apologizes, proudly. He says, I’m Chinese. We smile at each other. (44)
He won’t let his son marry the little white whore from Sadec (38)
She was fall in love with an older Chinese man. He took advantage of her, and it is definitely dangerous to be seen as an ‘affair’. He was also afraid, and thus he started to suffer, and said he is ” horribly lonely because of this love he feels for her.” (37)
Moreover, they had to face the racial problem (he is Chinese, or rather, he is Asian and she is Westerner). Her mother was saying it is a dishonour to marry with Chinese man, and she herself was also heard “the little white whore”. Although they were in an affectionate relationship, they had to give up their love towards each other.
The wild love I feel for him remains an unfathomable mystery to me. I don’t know why I loved him so much as to want to die of his death. I’d been parted from him for ten years when it happened, and hardly ever thought about him. I loved him, it seemed, forever, and nothing new could happen to that love. (106)
It reminded me of the Hong Kong movie, [In the Mood for Love], which also deals with “a forbidden love”. They could not deal with the guilty and the people’s eyes suspecting the affair. Although it is definitely a different story — [The Lover] is not actually an affair in the era, it is clearly shown that their love was not accepted, and they eventually gave up on their relationship. It made a huge impact on their lives, and even when they are old they clearly remember the emotion they felt.
Have you ever felt the strong emotion (whatever, including love) toward aother person which was not accepted by others?
Steve, have you seen the movie? I was curious to know more about it since a few of you mentioned it! You did a great job of describing the layered family experience: her fathers death, her mother’s instability, the privileging of a violent brother, the struggles of growing up and, on top of all of that, being in a foreign country. I’ll have to look up the movie!
Thanks for your comment!
– Tesi