In Diamond Grill, Fred Wah explains that names come attached with associations. He talks about how his Aunt Ethel tells him not to use “certain words that might bring bad luck” and that there are “dynamics of naming and desire” in the names of the Chinese cafes in his family’s history (Wah 26). Names are not just placeholders for people, actions, and other objects; they come packed with associations that influence people’s perceptions of what is being named.

I will use the example of Chinese names and the negative associations that were attached with those in the 1950’s. Fred Wah explains that though he physically looks more like a Caucasian: fairly blonde and fair skinned, because of the name “Wah”, he is marked out as a Chinese and therefore judged harshly by the Caucasians around him. For example, the father of his first serious girl dismisses him based on his last name: “I’ve got nothing against you or your family but I don’t want my daughter marrying a Chinaman. It just can’t work… I don’t want you seeing my daughter any more so don’t let me catch you here again and no more phone calls either.” Even though Fred doesn’t look Chinese, has many friends, and plays hockey (as Canadian as you can get, eh?), he is assumed to be a certain type of person based on his Chinese last name, “Wah”. (Wah 39)

He continues to list  different kinds of assumptions made on the Chinese people at that point in history: “I’m not going to work in a restaurant all my life but I’m going to go to University and I’m going to be a great fucking white success as you asshole and my name’s still going to be Wah…” (Wah 39). This example emphasizes the power of a name in shaping how one is perceived and treated.

As a thinking exercise, if you heard a Chinese last name now, what associations come to mind? Good at Math, perhaps? What if you heard a Caucasian last name, or another last name from a different ethnicity? Most likely all the different names would have various associations that would lend to the lens with which we see them. There is importance in acknowledging the power and association of names, so that we can catch ourselves in the act of hasty, unconscious judging.

Thoughts?

Wah, Fred. Diamond Grill. 10^th Anniversary Edition. Alberta: Ne West Press, 2006. Print.

Facebook’s mission, according to its company page, is to “give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected…”

As humans, we are creatures of need, specifically the need to belong, to feel loved and to be connected. Facebook makes us feel like we belong through our increasing Friends lists, our newsfeed that runneth over and likes and comments getting tossed back and forth, mimicking a great conversation. It is a platform that conveniently gathers people into one area—making it a one stop shop for us to feel connected.

However, Facebook friends aren’t really so much friends as they are social commodities. The more you collect, the more popular you are and the higher your worth is. Is this real connection? When people are on the bus or in transit, instead of talking to the passengers beside them and actually making a face-to face connection, they choose to be on Facebook, scrolling through their newsfeed, watching for their friends’ activities.

Real connection fosters sharing of life narratives, experiences and opinions. I believe there is some value to being reminded and cognizant of the fact that the connection Facebook espouses is only a pale imitation of the real connection we can have, sans the screen. We have to understand that real connection isn’t made through social media sites. Real connection is made through shared experiences–personally greeting someone a happy birthday or a get well, getting out of our own comfort zones and saying the first hello, not hiding behind screens at awkward situations, talking about important issues  instead of sending it out as a status. Turkle mentions in her TED talk: “We are lonely, but fearful of intimacy. Connectivity offers, for many of us, the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship.”

Real friends may have demands that our Facebook friends (aka virtual strangers) may not. But that’s what REAL connection is. It is the giving of each other and the taking and the learning. This is the process that forms and gives birth to life narratives. Do you think social media sites can create life narratives as well? How?  Is there a difference between the life narratives that an online and a personal connection may create? 

Welcome to UBC Blogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!