Yesterday was the long awaiting CAP conference. After attending this event, I can honestly say I could not be more proud to be a part of such a intelligence diverse group of students. Like a proud dance mom I was taking pictures and waving embarrassingly at my colleagues (see attached picture) as they brought great pride to our cap stream with their careful, amazing work. Furthermore, I was amazed with the work being done by students who were in other cap streams. I was so interested in the cross over of subject matter throughout. Many of the panels I observed I was amazed to note subjects we have taken up in our class but with an entirely different lens.

Of all the amazing speakers I had to privilege of observing, I am choosing to discuss the paper presentation done by Kate McLaughlin,  a student in the Media and Culture CAP stream. She presented her aper on the subject of Racist Media Representation. Not only was her paper wonderful informative,  I was amazed to see the cross disciplinary conversations that could be happening. Kate discussed racism in relation to media representation, and while we did not directly study this, as autobiography scholars, I could contribute to this conversation with bringing in sources such as Diamond Grill, and explore the subject of media representation through the study of counter narratives of autobiography. This juxtaposition between the imposed identify and the created identify is a subject I plan to take up in my final paper, and noting the role of the media in the formation of stigmas is a vital source I have neglected to factor into my study. Furthermore Kate also brought up the issue of the glorification of the white body. This is a phenomenon which can be also applied to our subject matter, especially in relation to Fred Wah and his identification as “White Enough”. All in all I was amazed to see that some of the issues we have taken up in our discussion are being discussed elsewhere, and in completely different contexts. This lead me to the idea, that perhaps next year, two students from different cap streams could be paired up and together they would have to find a common ground subject and using their own unique disciplinary perspectives. That may be a very interesting addition to the 2016 CAP conference.

What sells? In our world today, I am beginning to find it difficult to see a clear distinction between an authentic desire for a good or service or simply a superb add campaign, manipulating my better judgment into spending 49.99 on a “Magic Bullet’ (which in all honesty seems to be not magic what so ever). This phenomena of producing goods that sell can be found in the genre of disability autobiography. But what I have noted is that autobiography of celebrities who face some of the same struggles as the afore mentioned marginalized people, sells most of all. For example, “Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice”, debuted at number four on The New York Times Best Seller List and stayed on the list for three weeks. The commercial success of this memoir may be due to the fact that it enables two basic human desire in its readership. To begin, according to Miller and Sheppard, this glimpse into the life of a celebrity, enables the medicated voyerisum/ medicated exhitbtionism relationship. In their research, Miller and Sheppard discuss mediated voyeurism and mediated exhibitionism in regards to the blog, but their research is easily transferable to the genre of celebrity memoir. In noting that voyeurism may have had its origins in “sensationalized tabloid journalism of the late 19th century” they have already addressed the nature of celebrity fascination and furthermore in nothing that readers at the time found the sensationalized stories “more real because they are secret”, this effectively supports the commercial successes of the celebrity autobiography (Miller & Sheppard. 13). This fascination with celebrity culture is intensified when we are introduced to “scandalous secrets regarding their bouts with disabilities (which for the most part manifests as some form of mental illness). Another factor of the commercial successes of the celebrity autobiography can be explainss by Couser through his theory of the “triumphant rhetoric”. Courser states that disability memoir without the triumphant overcoming of the condition is often considered “depressing, it is most payable as a subject of memoir if the narrative takes the form of a story of triumph over adversity” (Couser. 33). Celebrity memoir, due to the fact these autobiographies are primarily created for commercial success, almost exclusively features a triumphant overcoming of the mental illness in order to live their full potential. It is important to be extremely wary with this genre, for is a quick bout with depression then a triumphant return to television may not be an accurate depiction of the chronic, often times permeant nature of most mental illnesses and disabilities? Although the story of “how Marcia Brady fell off the wagon” may have its voyeristic appeals, it is may be a better use of one’s time to seek the truthful depiction of life under a disability.

Patriarchy between the pages

How modern feminist are working to rectify patriarchal influence in archival documents

In his analysis of archival silences, Carter notes a particular silence that is growing louder and louder in its desire to be heard. It is often said that history was written from the perspective of man, and through this man dominated perception of history the stories of women are often silenced for the sake of their male counterparts. Carter notes this phenomenon in noting the view that archives are rooted in patriarchy (or the partriarchieve) in stating that “This view of the archive identifies them as institutions that have traditionally favoured textual documents of government, industry, the Church, and other male-controlled enterprises to the denigration of all other records.” (Carter, 13). In noting this theory Carter identifies, I found a desire to see what work modern feminist are doing to reclaim the history of women previously marginalized for the sake of the male meta-narrative. To my delight I found a plethora of like minded modern feminists doing work through social media and online blogs to make this correction and fill this silence. In my search I found many great blogs that can act as great resources for those who want to seek counter histories from the voice of women. Women’s History Network Blog is a blog with the purpose of illuminating individual women and important events in women history, all while contributing to the state of historical knowledge, filling the silence of other archives lacking the voice and stories of women. Furthermore the blog Partiarchieve is a personal blog of a single women, who uses her blog to discuss the subjects of gender influence within our archival system. It is through the work of ordinary women such as these that can help the undoing of the patriarchal tone of traditional told history and archives. In noting the silence, these women are turning an absence into substance and are slowly, but not without avail, filling the gapping hole in history that the patriarchy has dug. 

Carter, Rodney GS. “Of things said and unsaid: power, archival silences, and power in silence.” Archivaria 61.61 (2006).

As this term draws to a close, lectures of replaced by study sessions and thoughts of home grow more and more frequent, I consider the fluidity of my own life narrative. A concept that never arose in my research of life narratives this term was how life narratives are any thing but static. Everyday, every second of every day my story changes. i am no longer the small town girl who had never done anything adventurous. But I am not the scholar I wish to grow into, but rather caught somewhere in limbo. This is truly difficult in the projection of my own life narrative. When someone asks me where I am from the answer is no longer clear. All the life narratives we studied in class are reflections, stories looking back on the events of the past as they are rooted safely after them. But what about life narratives of the present? From this term I have noted that social media does a good job to satisfy he need to tell the story of the moment. Whether it be a arbitrary tweet about the squirrel outside of your residence hall or a selfy of your fabulous hair day, social media acts as a form of documentation of the moment. What is truly interesting about social media as a life narrative is that is lacks that reflection piece seen in published life narratives, for the most part is utterly present. This provides a lack of relating all the isolated events into one larger story. At the current moment in time, I believe I am incapable of writing my own life narrative, because I am so transitory that by the time I finished typing, things will have changed, but through social media, I am tell my story as it is happening, and although the story I share may not be true in the years to come, at that moment in time it was.

In the field of global politics, our current global situation is a hotbed of conflict. One particularly prevalent example of the conflict in our world is the ISIS situation in Syria. ISIS is a group of Sunni jihadists led by 43-year-old Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, working predominately in Syria and Iraq. ISIS has been a common feature in the western news recently due to the public beheadings of journalists James Foley, Steven Sotloff and British aid worker Alan Henning. These videos have reached western audiences and are readily available through a quick Google search. ISIS has been shown to have a strong social media presence. The organization has a twitter page as well and a “gift shop” in which supports can buy merchandise. Through the ISIS social media campaigning, a blog entitled “diary of a muhjirah” has appeared. There have been accounts of young western women leaving their homes to marry ISIS fighters, and to most westerns (including myself) this concept seems utterly unimaginable. But it is not unimaginable for a women whom goes by the username of “Bird of Jannah” who blogs about her live as an ISIS wife. The tumblr blog accounts her day to day life, pictures of her Syria, exerts from the Quran and exemplifies her love for her life with ISIS. In the blog she claims to be a western woman (her exact country of origins is never revealed) and states that coming to Syria was the best choice she ever made. Regarding the blog as truth projects a different image then that radical, fundamentalist, violent ISIS which is presented in western media. Though many researchers have their doubts about the authenticity of the “Bird of Jannah’s” story. Many researchers believe that the blog of a modern western women turn ISIS bride is an elaborate propaganda scheme from ISIS. If this proves to be the case, this terrorist organization is utilising a life narrative to project a certain viewpoint. If the same statements were released through an official ISIS source, the credibility would be lost. But through a woman whom is intelligent and well versed in tumlbr, the cause gains a level credibility. This usage of life narratives as propaganda may prove to be very effective, using the reliability of an imaginary western woman to gain support to their cause.

There has been a new trend emerging on campus as of late. It is impossible to stand in line at Starbucks with someone flipping to UBC confessions. UBC confessions is a facebook project in which students email the creators anything from witty blips to deep personal confessions and then the creators repost it, posting it so all of  UBC  can see in complete anonymity. Though UBC confessions is not the only form of this phenomenon of “online diaries” which have appeared on campus. Whisper is an application explicitly designed for the exchange of secrets, UBC crushes is another face book project which acts as a bathroom wall did in grade school in which users write about someone they have been admiring from a far. The list continues with Yik, Yak, UBC admires and so on.  In my blog I will primarily be discussing UBC confessions, but it is important the note the plethora of sources to act as an online confessionals which have become an important part of campus life. But what is fueling this desire to share our secrets to the “cyber community”? Though no research has been done explicitly on UBC confessions, the study of the web blog by Miller and Sheppard shows that the innate desires which fueled in surge of the web blog are applicable to the very modern social networking confessionals. This principle of secrecy breeding realism is a major factor of UBC confessions. There is no possible way to gage the authenticity of the confessions, but consumes of these sites may be more will to believe the audacious claims due to the veil of secrecy from which it was written. Another factor to the popularity surge of the social media confessional may be the format. In an increasingly connected word, the karios of the social media confessions fit perfectly university campus with more wifi hotspots than libraries. This format fit with the highly connected, immediate gratification seeking student population from which it is thriving. UBC confessions seems to be thriving because it is satisfying a desire to be share and to listen, all while hidden behind an Iphone screen.

Carolyn R. Miller and Dawn Shepherd. “Blogging as Social Action: A Genre Analysis of the Weblog” Into the Blogosphere: Rhetoric, Community, and Culture of Weblogs (2004).

“No perspective, however informed, can fully represent trauma” (Chute page 102)

In the examination of traumatic events, Chute explains that no matter how eloquent the wording or how intelligent the speaker, it is infeasible to accurately explain the true nature of trauma. It can even be said that trauma essentially erases the traumatic event from the cognitive life narrative of the victim. As said by Dr. Laurie McNeill in lecture, “trauma is something that erases the subject”. Through my blog post I apply this principle of trauma robbing the story of the victim to victims of sexual assault in the 21^st century. In order to understand the traumatic implication of sexual assault, it is important to fully comprehend the boundaries of which sexual assault can be classified. Popular YouTube figure Hank Green provides a thorough explanation of sexual assault, detailing how sexual assault is not exclusively penetrative rape, but instead can be viewed as a wide spectrum encompassing acts such as unwarranted sexual advances and inappropriate touching. With the examination of sexual assault, it is important to note the psychological concept of repression.  Elizabeth Loftus stated that “Repression is one of the most haunting concepts in psychology. Something shocking happens, and the mind pushes it into some inaccessible corner of the unconscious.” (Loftus, page 1). Through repression Chute’s ideas of trauma erasing subject become tangible. In the mind of the victim the traumatic event is quite literally erased robbing them of their testament to the abuse. This is important because not only is the individual in question robbed of their personal narrative, but from a legal perceptive they are essentially unable to be brought justice. Even when the victims have a comprehension of the trauma, it is convoluted to accurately explain and report said act. However there has been a recent surge in sexual assault awareness and empowerment movements. One Huffington Post article entitled “Project Unbreakable” depicted survivors holding posters with the words their assaulter’s said to them. The pictures show a stark juxtaposition between the horrid phrases and the strength on the survivor’s faces. They are claiming back their story.  As a previously silenced survivor of sexual harassment, the act of reclaiming a stolen story truly matters. Victims should not be robbed of their life narratives, even in the cases of unimaginable trauma.

Self Exposure

Modern Voyeurism and Sexual Expression through the Medium of Chatroulette 

                ChatRoulette; From my personal experience is a 10% chance of a meaningful conversation and a 90% of seeing unsolicited nudity. ChatRoulette in precisely what its name implies, a site that facilitates the random matching of one with someone else from anywhere around the world. Though, more often than not, ChatRoulette tends to produces a naked man, rather than a potential inspiring conversation with someone from across the globe, providing a rich cultural experience from the comfort of your home. This facet of ChatRoulette, centred on gratuitous nudity, is a popularly explored phenomenon. Where does this need to expose one’s self to strangers steam from? the phenomenon of randomised internet chat be connected to the concept of voyeurism and sexual expression. David Kreps of University of Salford, states that ChatRoulette’s strange microcosm thrives on the concept of voyeurism and exhibitionist. Kreps argues that ₂“exhibitionist and viewer gradually becomes the primary field within which ChatRoulette operates”. This need to watch and be watch can be viewed is laced throughout our culture. From reality TV to social media society tends to fall into one of two categories, the watcher and the watched. ChatRoulette offers an opportunity for this formula to be altered. The watcher can become the watched, expressing the deeper desires to share their lives and their sexuality. In average societal situations, one has very few opportunities to express their sexually and are drawn to the anonymity of a random video chat as a form of self expression of a deeply repressed aspect of themselves.  According to various internet forums the general public contentious of this strange phenomena ranges from disgust ₃“People are sick and think it’s funny to post a video of them naked” to a more naturalistic approach “What’s wrong with being naked? It’s totally natural.” Dr Taly Weiss, in an argument discussing the potential dangers of ChatRoulette stating ₄“that internet encounters, be they ones such as on ChatRoulette.. are about satisfying the feeling of excitement that comes when we are allowed inside private places and invite people into them too”. Whether it is based in pure perversion or an innate desire for self expression, I personally would not recommend visiting this website in Irving K Barber where people could potentially see your activities.

Kreps, DG 2010, Foucault, exhibitionism and voyeurism on chatroulette , in: Cultural attitudes towards technology and communication 2010, 17-21/6/2010, Vancouver, Canada.
document_url: http://usir.salford.ac.uk/10355/1/Kreps_Chatroulette_catac10_proceedings.pdf

To most the notion of having one’s entire life on display to anyone with basic computer knowledge and access to Starbucks Wifi is vastly unpleasant. Why would anyone in their right mind have the desire to share each of their triumphs and failures day to day with a potentially hypercritical anonymous crowd?  This may seem to be a completely undesirable notion, but there happens to be an entire facet of online life narratives dedicated to the art of video blogging. Video blogging or “vlogging” in essence is the idea of individuals recording themselves (and those in their lives) simply existing in their natural form. From bed head to weddings the rapidly growing community of “vloggers” are opening up their lives to the world, allowing anyone and everyone to live vicariously through them.  Considering the concept of Vlogging is essential a selfish act, is Vlogging actually a force a vapid self indulgence? Or is it a selfless act of exposing one’s intimate moments to the sake of entertainment of the audience. Maggie Griffith a Ph.D. candidate in the Communication Department at the University of Illinois at Chicago argues “that Vlogs enable self–presentation by facilitating an ongoing negotiation of identities, not necessarily in a diary–oriented way”. Vlogs can act as more than social outreach, but a individual form of self reflections. Through the act of recording ones day to day life, Vlogging can promote an opportunity for self reflection and personality improvement. Vlogging acts as a mirror of self awareness and fosters many opportunities for the improvement of self through observation. Conversely Griffith states that “other vloggers present themselves, whether intentionally or not, in narcissistic ways through unwarranted self–promotion or self–absorption”. Vlogging has such a strong focus on self that is can easily manifest into an outlet for extreme self absorption, a playground of indulgence for egomaniacs everywhere. Though that is only one perspective to the argument, another one of the positives of Vlogging is it’s basic inclusive nature. Anyone with a video camera can toss their hat into the Vlogging ring, adding to the rich, diverse community. From bachelors struggling through the horrors of dating, to the birth of children and the joy of simple living, Vlogging has fostered a truly unique form of life narratives, one in which the possibilities are endless. Whether the Vlogs are rooted in vanity and egomania or simple used as a form of self express, Vlogging continues to flourish with every view.

Griffith, Maggie and Papachariss, Zizi. “Looking for You: An Analysis of Video Blogs.” Temple University, (2007): n.pag. Web. January 4 2010

Link to “Looking for You: An Analysis of Video Blogs” http://firstmonday.org/ojs/index.php/fm/article/view/2769/2430#p3

Link to “Shaytards” a Vlogging family’s birth of their child…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEyfCz2CTH8

Link to another Vloggers wedding…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZObTMLwUEx8