Quentin Michalchuk – ENGL 301 – Assignment 1:3 Peer Review of Sovereignty

Reviewer’s Name: Quentin Michalchuk
Author’s Name: Eugenia Fasciani
Date: October 5th, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Sovereignty

Hello Eugenia,

Thank you for the excellent definition of Sovereignty and its intricacies in a political context. Being so far removed from what I study, it allowed me to gain some insight into what your field of study entails.

Initial Impressions

Upon my first read through of the material, I found the wording to be concise and the definition immediately and thoroughly understandable.  I always thought sovereignty referred to countries being independent and found it interesting to learn that there are multiple dimensions to this term I did not know. The definition explained the term both efficiently and sufficiently, yet the figure was quite complex in comparison.

As the definition stands, I would ask the following question: for what reason did you choose this figure to accompany your definition?  I would approve of the text (and citations) in the definition without revision, yet the major revision would be the visual.  As someone who has no knowledge of the subject, I find it difficult to understand the figure.   Without further explanation, I find the figure to take away from the high quality of work put into the text itself: instead of building off of the definition, it seems to launch into the evolution of responsibility of the term, which I believe would require both a definition of responsibility in political science terms as well as a timeline, for which there is none.  For these reasons, I would choose to exclude the figure from the definition, opting for a figure that can support or elucidate your argument, such as a visual of the characteristic features of sovereignty.

Purpose

The purpose of the definition is immediately and clearly defined in the first sentence of the introduction, with the situation in the last sentence of the introduction clarifying the specific scenario.  With the breadth that this purpose covers, the intended purpose is always apparent, and there is no straying from the purpose of any sort throughout the document.

Suggestions

As I was not originally familiar with this term, I found the information provided to be clear and helped me understand the sovereignty to a depth greater than I did previously.  I felt particularly thankful for your correct assumption that I was aware of what a central governing body and government was.  It was important to me that you assumed this base knowledge as I believe a freshman would be expected to know this in an introductory political science class (although it may be elaborated on for the purpose of the class).

I liked how all words and phrases that you used were thoroughly defined, each serving a clear purpose.  Only the word “inalienable” in the 2^nd paragraph, 6^th sentence of your expanded definition could be slightly clarified.  Although I found this word understandable in context with your comparison to transfer of sovereign rights, I would formally define it to ensure people like me can appreciate its use.

Organization

It was impressive how you incorporated the methods of expansion into a flowing two-paragraph definition, yet they were still individually identifiable; in order of appearance:

• Etymology
• History
• Negation
• Required Conditions (with some comparison and contrast and examples)
• Visual (discussed further in the final impressions)

These four written expansions work together to clarify the multidimensional aspects of the term, making a large coherent picture, promoting a greater depth of understanding than the other definition types (parenthetical and sentence) could allow.

Each section of the definition fulfills its intended purpose, with a concise concluding sentence to round it off in the final expanded version.  Your introduction is especially clear, with appropriate thesis and topic sentences that foreshadow the definitions to come.  The visual contains a clear title, although I would ensure it is discussed sufficiently within the text to allow a thorough understanding.  If the visual is borrowed, please remember to credit the source.

Overall Impressions 

Thank you for writing this definition; I believe that I have gained greater appreciation for political science as a whole as a result.  Your definition was thorough and multi-faceted, allowing for an in-depth understanding of sovereignty.  As mentioned in my initial impressions, I would recommend finding an alternative visual that can help tie the definition together.  I would aim to use this alternative figure to consolidate the current level of comprehension gained from the written examples as opposed to introducing more complexity.  By far, I found your clear writing style to be the most effective element in the document, as it was the driving force for an engaging and organized representation of what sovereignty meant in a political context.

I hope this can guide your revisions for a final document that is even better than the current version,

Best,

Quentin Michalchuk

Link to the original definition: 301 Eugenia Fasciani Three Definitions Assignment