Memorandum
To: Dr. Erika Paterson, ENGL 301 99A Professor
From: Claire Eccles, ENGL 301 99A Student
Date: November 14, 2020
As per the Lesson 2:3 assignment, here is my progress report for implementing a female varsity baseball program at UBC.
Audience
The research conducted for this report will be directed towards UBC Athletics and proposes to initiate a varsity baseball program for women. Specifically, the Director of Athletics and Recreation, Kavie Toor, will be presented with the final report.
Purpose
The purpose of this report is to offer recommendations for establishing a female varsity baseball program at UBC.
Significance of the Report
There are hundreds of collegiate varsity baseball programs across Canada and the United States, all principally exclusive to men. There are over 100,000 girls playing baseball at the youth level in these two countries combined, yet not one baseball program is offered for women at the college level. British Columbia boasts strong numbers for female baseball players with a desire to continue their play post-secondary.
Research Plan
Problem:
- identify the logistics for establishing a varsity program at UBC (financially, where games/practices would be held, how much interest must be displayed)
Primary data:
- Survey Baseball BC’s Girls Program, Baseball Canada’s women’s national team and members of the UBC population
- Interview UBC Athletics and Recreation department
Secondary data:
- Statistics of women playing baseball
Writing Schedule
Nov 15: Write reflection for Unit 3 and revise proposal
Nov 16: Begin running interviews and releasing survey
Nov 20: Begin secondary data source research
Nov 26: Use the interview, survey and secondary source search results to put together first draft
Dec 1: Post formal report draft to team forum
Dec 7: Write and post peer review for formal report draft
Dec 12: Begin to revise formal report based off of peer review feedback
Dec 16: Post final formal report
The link to the survey can be found here.
Hello Claire,
Thank you for posting this Progress Report. A few changes are necessary. The survey should include all genders and the questions need an edit for clarity. Please see these examples and correct:
“The purpose of this report is to bring forward the possibility of establishing a female varsity baseball program at UBC.”
Awkward phrasing because what is the meaning of “to bring forward” ?
Rewrite: The purpose of this report is to offer recommendations for establishing a female varsity baseball program at UBC.
Survey questions that need rewrites:
“I will/currently compete or have competed in a sport other than baseball in post-secondary, but if baseball was offered, baseball would have been my first choice.”
Rewrite:
If a female baseball program was available ..
a) I would participate as an athlete
b) I would participate as a fan
c) I am not interested in baseball
“At any point, I lose/have lost motivation knowing there lacks opportunity in this sport for me based on my gender”
Rewrite: The lack of opportunity for female baseball at the postsecondary level …
a) makes the sport less interesting for me as a fan
b) discourages me from playing baseball as an athlete
c) makes no difference to me
“I would have reconsidered my post-secondary choices if I had knowledge of a school that offered women’s baseball as a varsity sport.”
Try rewriting the above question on your own – follow the writing tips:
• Take out the verbs and the pronouns when possible.
• Always avoid three verbs in a row. Re: would have reconsidered
Please make the necessary changes, and alert me with an email with a link to the survey, thank you.