To: Yang Liu, Technical Writing 301 Student
From: Samantha Lee, Technical Writing 301 Student
Date: October 3, 2021
Subject: Peer Review for Definitions of Machine Learning
It was a pleasure to read your definitions assignment. Your expanded definition provides an informative and detailed explanation on machine learning. I would like to recommend the following suggestions:
Conciseness: Some sentences can be more concise while maintaining clarity and detail. For example, the word “mainly” can be removed from “In the early years, machine learning is mainly used” and “This book focuses mainly on.” The phrase “In a report done in 1981” can also be changed to “In 1981.”
Level of detail: Good use of expansion techniques, especially historical information that provides helpful details for the intended audience. Non-technical readers might not know the technical definitions for words such as algorithm, model, dependencies and computer terminal. I would recommend using parenthetical or sentence definitions to briefly explain these scientific terms.
Grammar: I noticed technical errors that make some sentences difficult to understand in one reading. For instance, in the final paragraph, the verb “maps” should be singular and the noun “statues” should be spelled as “states.” I would suggest reviewing your assignment for errors such as subject-verb disagreements, typographical mistakes and misplaced punctuation.
Assignment Criteria: Great job on addressing all requirements, providing a clear introduction, three well-defined definitions and a works cited list. Consider restructuring your parenthetical definition to include the word “machine learning” followed by its brief definition in parentheses. Good examples of parenthetical definitions can be found in the course textbook on page 397.
I hope these suggestions are useful as you complete this assignment. Your definitions are on the right track, providing interesting details about machine learning. Please contact me if you have any questions.
https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2021wa/2021/09/30/definitions-of-machine-learning/
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