Peer Review for Defining Periodontitis

To: Helene Tran, ENGL 301 Student
From: Zoe Maika, ENGL 301 Student
Date: October 5, 2021
Subject: Review of three definitions of periodontitis

I have reviewed your three definitions of periodontitis. The parenthetical and sentence definitions are to-the-point and give a great overview of the term. The expanded definition is well organized, and the writing is concise and clearly defines periodontitis and its causes and implications.

Content:
I fully understood the material on the first reading and didn’t find any parts confusing or complicated, however, the expanded definition could benefit from adding more detail. It isn’t clear that at least four methods for expanding definitions are being used here, so I would suggest using separate paragraphs or adding a couple subheadings and expanding on the methods.

Visuals:
Your use of images helps the reader to visualize periodontitis and how it affects your teeth. It would further the reader’s understanding to reference the images within the definition and explain what exactly is in the image, especially the x-ray where it is not immediately clear. Since there are 2 images, you could label them so they can be easily referenced, for example: “In Figure 1, you can see…”

Audience:
Your definitions use common language and are concise and to-the-point, perfect for the reading situation described. When you say “dental health professional” it might be helpful to be more specific. Exactly who would a patient go to if they have periodontitis? What is the treatment for severe periodontal disease?

Final thoughts & suggestions:

• Including more detail in the expanded definitions with the help of subheadings will make the four methods for expanding definitions more clear
• Referencing the images within the definition will help the reader understand what the image entails
• Make sure to cite images in MLA format
• Expanding on the term “dental health professional” helps the reader better understand who is being referenced

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your definitions for periodontitis and feel I have a firm grasp on what the disease entails. I hope you find my suggestions helpful and please let me know if you have any questions.

Link to definitions