MEMORANDUM
To: Lea Ang Salamanca, Student of ENGL 301
From: Phillip Tellier, Student of ENGL 301
Date: October 16, 2021
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal on Vegetable Packaging
On October 15, 2021, you posted a proposal for a formal report on Team Potluck’s writing forum. It is my assignment to peer review the proposal both to help improve your writing and give feedback on your justification of the proposed study. I have broken down my review into sections according to the sections of your report. Additionally, I added feedback about grammar, formatting, style and organization.
Introduction and Statement of the problem:
The introduction was helpful in understanding the people that would benefit from your proposed report. I also enjoyed its wholesome tone. You did an excellent job explaining the purposes of food packaging. This helped justify that a decision about the packaging should be deliberated upon and well supported by a report.
Proposed Solution:
I agree with the proposed solution given that you were informative about exactly what aspects of the packaging would be explored.
Scope and Methods:
The scope of the proposed report is appropriate as it seems narrow enough to complete before it is due, and wide enough to provide a 12–15-page report. It stays on topic to answer the questions that are needed to solve the problem. Unfortunately, the methods section leaves out exactly what will be done with the data gathered from doing an environmental scan of packaging materials. Also, looking at farm producers’ publications is a good idea, but they would be primary not secondary sources if farm producers are directly reporting the data they generate.
Qualifications:
Reading your qualifications assured me that this would be an amazing formal report. Listing plenty of relevant experience helped a lot.
Conclusion:
You properly reiterated justification for the formal report and urged action. The urgency of the situation is conveyed well.
Grammar, Formatting, Style:
- The first sentence of the “proposed solutions” section is a sentence fragment. This can be changed from “creating a comparative analysis report” to “I will create a comparative analysis report”.
- The first sentence of the “proposed solutions” section is also a run on sentence. I suggest it be split into two sentences. The same applies to another run on sentence at the end of the “qualifications” section.
- The second item in the “scope” section is missing a question mark.
- In the “scope” section, the second item is a bit wordy. “How can packaging material extend the product’s shelf-life?” would be an improvement.
Organization:
Organization was perfect in your proposal as related ideas were grouped together. The headings chosen, although prescribed by the assignment, were appropriate. They helped to direct me as a reader.
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