2:1 Peer Review of Improving the Road Planning of Guixi Park

To: Coco Chen, Fellow Student of The Empirical Pen Writing Team

From: Kitty Yan, Student of the Empirical Pen Writing Team

Date: October 18^th, 2021

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal to Improve the Road Planning of Guixi Park to Enhance the Motivation of the Community

Thank you for the enlightening read about Guixi Park and its community, which fulfilled all of the requirements for the assignment in a very well organized proposal. Please see below a list of suggestions for improvement.

First Impressions: 

It was clear and succinct on the scope of the problem and the possible solution for improving the community around Guixi Park. The proposal highlights the current issues and gives a possible solution for road improvement to increase the motivation of residents. On the first read through, it was easy to follow the headings and have a good idea on the issue at hand to be researched.

Situation / Audience:

It was clear who this proposal was addressed to, and why they would have the authority to enact on the recommendations of the proposal if given approval. However, this section may be easier to understand if it was placed after the introduction, especially in regards to the first sentence where it was explained that it will be submitted to the Chengdu Institute of Planning and Design who is the designer to the “current version” of the project (where the project is then explained later on). It may also be better to specify that which department for the institute will this proposal be submitted to, as it was mentioned later.

Introduction: 

This introduction was brief but to the point and grasps all the key details needed for the reader to understand who, what and where Guixi Park is. There were a few keywords that were hard to understand at first glance, such as “sponge city” and “demonstration park”, but overall, the introduction paved a nice way to paint the overview of the park and the issue at hand.

Statement of Problem:

The inclusion of the visuals was a nice touch to understand the geography of the park and the issues currently surrounding it. However, this section seemed a bit hard to understand without re-reading and trying to match the references to the visuals. As explained in the visuals headings later, it may be better to include references specifically in relation to the visuals, such as to add “Guixi Community (the highlighted blue section in Figure 1)”, “Guixi Park (the highlighted green section)”, and “the highway (the darkened yellow line)”.

Proposed Solution:

The proposed solution was straight to the point and included a very easy and understandable solution. A suggestion for improvement is to either not include Figure 3 or include it in your reference in the solution, such as adding “Two green ecological bridges could be added above the Tianfu Avenue that currently divides the park into its east and west sections, like Figure.3 below”.

Scope:

The questions asked seemed to be a very good capture of the believed issues affecting residents’ motivation and show quite a wide range of potential solutions, including whether the road improvement could be a good possible motivation increase. However, this could be better worded to specify who the surveys will be conducted with, as in its current state, leads to an understanding that anyone could be asked.

Laurel Creek Park was also not referenced in any part of the proposal except here, so perhaps either including an explanation for the Laurel Creek Park in wherever it is relevant, or to discard from the list of questions would be better.

Methods:

There were a few questions that remained after reading this section:

• What is the meaning of “conducting a sample survey”? Is it meant that only a subset of the community will be asked, and if so, which subset (possibly only the north community that is currently being affected the most, or from the entire Guixi Community)? Who specifically are the “people living in different areas” – is it the Guixi Community or the communities surrounding Guixi Park?
• What is the current parkway plan? Will there be more surveys conducted on other solutions, given that it was mentioned a possible “3-4 other pending plans”, or perhaps it would be better to tailor to ask only about the road improvement as a feasible option?
• If residents are asked if they have any suggestions, is there a plan for any interviews with specific residents, or is it only a survey?

My Qualifications:

The qualifications given show all needed (and above) expertise that highlight why the proposal can be written and submitted by you.

Conclusion:

This was a nice and brief conclusion that wraps the proposal up, but a possible suggestion for improvement (in the conclusion and overall) is to clarify the specific scope of what is being researched (as there seemed to be only road improvement at first, but then expanded to many other possible plans later).

Visuals:

The visuals are a nice touch to help explain the problem. It would be a bit better to add in the description of what the colours mean, as it was hard to tell at first glance, which was what, especially the green box which looked originally to be pointing out the highway/divide between the community and the park. It may also help to reference the avenue in the explanation (specifying that it is Tianfu Ave, instead of keeping it vague as “avenue”).

Grammar/Typos:

There are a few places of spacing issues, such as:

• “to the  Chengdu Institute”
• “Sichuan Province, China.  As a green space”
• “Gui Xi Park” – it would be better to keep a single reference to Guixi Park (or perhaps, to change it all to Gui Xi Park)

There were also a few areas where there were run on or incomplete sentences that could be split up to make it easier for the reader to follow, such as:

• “Guixi Park relies on natural topographic conditions to reshape the water system pattern, ecology, landscape, and functionalize the existing flood drains and lakes and ponds, and strengthen the flood detention and storage capacity.” to “Guixi Park relies on natural topographic conditions to reshape the water system patter, ecology, and landscape. It is also a park that functionalizes the existing flood drains, lakes and ponds, and strengthens the flood detention and storage capacity.”
• “Ask the residents who feel affected if they have any suggestions or improvements and compile statistics on them.” which is unclear on if this is part of the sample survey or if additional interviews will be included to ask residents.

Overall however, the proposal was given in a very well organized and structured form, which was really easy to follow from beginning to end. It has been a pleasure reviewing this work and understanding the problem of Guixi Park and how residents in the community are affected. Thank you, and may your proposal be approved! Please feel free to ask any questions if need be on any of the suggestions provided.

Proposal Peer Reviewed: Assignment 2:1 Formal Report Proposal