To: Phillip Tellier, Student of English 301
From: Lea Ang Salamanca, Student of English 301
Date: October 18, 2021
Subject: Peer Review of Proposal for a Report on Reducing the Negative Effects of Sitting for BCS Students
Thank you for submitting the proposal for assignment for lesson 2.1. Please see the review of the document below with suggestions for improvements.
First Impressions
- Most of the assignment requirements described in the textbook are correctly presented.
- The background and the reader section is missing. Because this proposal is addressed to the instructor, a background information and details about the reader is required. The formal report will be written for a reader or readers who have an authority to act on the recommendations about reducing the negative effects of sitting for BCS students.
Introduction
- The topic of the proposal and the content of the proposal needs clarity. The title of the proposal is about reducing the negative effects of sitting which signifies that the magnitude of the negative health effects of sitting is already established but this section suggests that the students are unsure about the magnitude of the negative effects of sitting.
Statement of the Problem
- Makes a good argument about the importance of student awareness of the risk associated with prolonged sitting by encouraging students to be proactive.
Proposed Solution
- The second sentence makes a better topic sentence because it logically follows the last sentence of the statement of the problem. In this section, it appears the students are the readers of the report.
Scope
- The introduction in this section suggests that it is investigating how sitting affects students but the content of the scope includes solutions to address the negative effects of sitting. Combining the two ideas (negative effect of sitting with health solutions) in the topic sentence will make this section align with the second sentence in the proposed solution.
Methods
- This section is well-written and organized. It provides the list of methods that will be used in the study and the reasons for using each method is clearly defined.
My Qualifications
- The writer’s qualifications and experience are clearly stated.
- Gives the reader confidence about the writer’s capacity to undertake the research project and provide good recommendations.
Concluding Comments:
- Overall, this document’s organization mostly complies with the required sections as described in the text.
- The methods and qualifications are well-written.
- Identifying the readers or a reader for this proposal will be helpful in assisting the writer in making a clear topic for the formal report.
Thank you for the opportunity to review this work. If you have any questions, please send me an email at lholdo00@@student.ubc.ca.
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