Peer Review of Tamara’s Formal Report Draft

To: Tamara Oman, ENGL 301 Student
From: Zoe Maika, ENGL 301 Student
Date: November 19, 2021
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

Initial Impressions
This report does a great job emphasizing the need for a reduction in paper usage at Keller Williams. Excessive paper usage and its connection to deforestation paints a clear picture why this is an important topic. Areas of paper usage at Keller Williams are clearly outlined and possible solutions are proposed.

Front Matter

• The title page contains all necessary information and looks organized and professional
• The table of contents contains each heading and subheading in the paper with the correct page numbers attached
• Ensure correct pagination

Introduction

• Clearly explains the harmful effects of deforestation and how the paper industry drives it
• Connects the issue of deforestation to Keller Williams
• Writing is professional and draws the reader in
• Using subheadings in the introduction can help the reader follow along more easily
• Writing the list of topics to be discussed in point form is more clear and organized than listing in paragraph form

Data Section

• Explains causes of deforestation and the harm the pulp and paper industry has on the environment
• Outlines sources of paper use at Keller Williams
• Use of subheadings makes the content clear and organized
• Figures aid in understanding the data, however ensure they are correctly labeled in MLA format
• Explores benefits and drawbacks of implementing virtual platforms and stepping away from paper use, fully assessing the feasibility
• Figure 3: Average Annual Cost of Printing is a bit confusing – it makes it look like the cost for each month is the amount indicated (i.e. average cost in November is $1500 for color printing) I suggest changing the type of chart to make it more clear that the cost is adding up over the course of a year

Conclusion

• The summary clearly outlines the topics covered in the report so far
• List of recommendations align with analysis and are clearly laid out in an organized list

End Matter

• Works cited list is present and includes all sources referenced, however make sure it is in proper MLA format
• Consider adding survey questions to an appendix at the end of the report

Grammar & Spelling

• Overall, there are only a few minimal grammatical errors throughout the report
• In the first line of the introduction “Trees are a renewable resource that is critical for habitation…”, change “is” to “are”
• In the third paragraph of the introduction “…analysis of surveys to office realtors…” sounds like it should be “analysis of surveys distributed to office realtors”
• In the first paragraph of the data section, consider changing “…highest effects on deforestation…” to “most effects on deforestation” or “highest impact on deforestation”
• In the final paragraph under Cost Comparison of using Virtual Platforms “The benefits of printing documentation for storage purposes is access…”, change “is” to “are”

Structure & Organization

• The report contains all required components for this draft, except the appendix containing the survey questions
• Overall it is extremely organized and well-structured, the information flows well and each section builds off of the last

Final Thoughts

• Overall, the formal report draft is clear, concise, well-structured, and organized
• The content is aligned with that of a feasibility report and all possible outcomes of moving to a virtual method of documentation are discussed
• With some minor edits, the final draft will be ready to submit

I hope you found my suggestions helpful. If you have any questions, please message me at zoemaika@student.ubc.ca. Thank you!