3:3 Peer Review Of Jenny Li’s Formal Research Report

To: Jenny Li, Student ENGL 301 Technical Writing UBC

From: Dave Borrel, Student ENGL 301 Technical Writing UBC

Date: November 19th, 2021

Subject: Assignment 3:3 Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

 

Thank you for submitting the report, “Feasibility of Hands-On Workshop Courses for Psychology Undergraduate Students At UBC”. It is well-written and highlights the importance of developing employable skills for those selecting a major in Psychology. Below you will find suggestions for improvement to consider for the final draft of the research report.

 

First Impression

After an initial read through of this draft, there are many well-written elements that help to make the case for more hands-on learning which can lead to better employment outcomes for psychology majors. There is an in-depth analysis of how it benefits learning, how it may be established, along with a realistic acknowledgement of the limitations. Increasing the size of graphs for surveys can help the reader determine the result quickly, without needing to slow down and look closer at the figures.

Content

• The level of detail is appropriate for the intended audience (Psychology Department Head).
• The Introduction of the problem is well written and highlights the contrast between Psychology and other majors at UBC. The clear description of the connection between the teaching style and job prospects helps highlight the urgency of these changes.
• Although the concept of hands-on learning is described later in the research draft, an earlier definition even within the introduction, would help give readers a clear understanding.
  • Additional revisions could focus on integrating the definition of hands-on experience into the introduction while also clarifying the objective.
• There is a detailed explanation of how these hands-on courses can be implemented which gives the reader a clear understanding of what steps need to be taken to implement this program.
• The secondary research highlighting the effectiveness of hands-on learning is interesting and helps convince the reader of the effectiveness of this type of experience for psychology students.
  • Further elaboration on how these benefits lead to better employability would help strengthen the argument and make the connection between this teaching style more clear. 
• The discussion of limitations near the end is well written and clear.

Organization

• The draft is well-organized and contains most of the components required in a formal report draft.
  • The inclusion of the appendix along with the survey at the end can give the reader the option to review the questions asked to the participants.
• There is a logical flow to the content and goes from more general to specific in the introduction. The headings clearly indicate the content underneath.
  • The addition of another heading indicating when the data analysis ends and when the secondary research begins can improve the transition between the two sections.

Style

• Overall the reports maintain a professional and positive tone.
• Some sections could be modified to make the content better match the heading
  • For example, in the objective, there could be some discussion about who the report is made out to and what that person could do to help move this solution forward.
• The removal of pronouns can be helpful to maintain an objective tone.
  • “Based on this, we will now examine secondary sources to offer further support and insight on hands-on courses.”
  • Suggested edit: “The results of the survey require further analysis with… “.

Design

• The report uses a variety of diagrams such as the one that demonstrates the implementation of hands-on learning. 
• The figures of the survey results are labelled correctly along with a clear indication of what each axis represents.
• Adjusting the following parts of the graphic can help increase the clarity of the message that readers take from each figure.
  • Increasing the size of the survey results helps prevent the reader from feeling too jarred when reviewing those results.
  • Using a bold font for the survey labels can help to increase contrast of the document and improve readability.
•  Overall, the graphics in the document serve the intended purpose and some modifications to format can help improve its effectiveness.

Technical

• The title page is well designed and there is a proper running head through the document
  • Inclusion of a different running head for the title page can help to indicate where the rest of the document begins.
• The table of contents is formatted properly and contains the appropriate headings found in the accompanying text.
• Some of the figure text contains different colors and there is even an example of different colours found in the table of contents.
  • Replacing these different colors with just black can help to keep the document consistent.

 

Concluding Comments:

Overall, this draft provides a detailed structure of what the final report will eventually turn into for the final draft. There was excellent discussion of the need for more hands-on learning combined with the acknowledgement of barriers that could inhibit its implementation. The following adjustments can help to improve the effectiveness of the report.

• Increasing the clarity of the figures can help improve readability
• Elaborating on the connection between secondary research and outcomes can help
• Additional subheadings can help to improve readability of the document.
• Adjustment of the text and its color in the figures can help improve consistency.
• Addition of the appendix along with works cited can help the reader do their own additional research as well.

 

I hope that this peer review is helpful and that it can assist in your final draft of the formal research report.

Best,

Dave Borrel