Expanding the ‘Lift the Lip’ Fluoride Varnish Program – A Peer Review

Reviewer: Karissa Garneau, Student of ENGL 301 Technical Writing

Author: Helene Tran, Student of ENGL 301 Technical Writing

Title: Expanding the ‘Lift the Lip’ Fluoride Varnish Program – A Peer Review

November 21, 2021

 

Helene,

Initial Impressions

• The report is well organized and flows logically
• The material captures reader’s attention and provides a solution to a valid public health concern – the prevalence of early childhood caries (ECC)

Title Page and Table of Contents

• All necessary information is included and presented in a neat and visually appealing manner
• Draft is correctly paginated and corresponds to section of the text

Introduction/Background Information

• Comprehensively explains the validity of the report by describing the need to reduce ECC and to promote preventative programs such as ‘Lift the Lip’
• Provides background knowledge on how cavities occur from demineralization, the significance of ECC and how fluoride varnish can help to prevent ECC

Purpose of Report

• Details the proposal of expanding the fluoride varnish program to include more referral sources
• Expanding the referral sources will increase parent awareness and hopefully use of the program
• The purpose is described in a persuasive and professional writing style

Methods

• Methods include distribution of surveys, interviews of dental program staff, and reference to publications regarding the effectiveness of fluoride varnish programs
• Contains necessary information and is concise

Data Section

• Includes 5 bar graphs that demonstrate survey responses
• Each figure is labelled with the corresponding question and provides an explanation of findings
• Clearly demonstrates a lack of education surrounding the fluoride varnish program in question

Conclusion/Summary and Interpretation

• This section adequately summarizes the report findings and concludes that a majority of parents are lacking the resources or information to ensure prevention of ECC
• The interpretation is listed in bullet-style with a short concluding paragraph at the end
• It is apparent that increased prevention of cavities can be accomplished by way of expanding promotion of fluoride varnish programs

Grammar and Spelling

• Only Introduction and Conclusion headings are centered, the rest are oriented to the left. The table of contents suggests that Data Section should also be centered.
• No spelling errors or typos were noted

Final Thoughts

• Content is well-structured and comprehensive
• In order to maintain attention, consider using varied types of diagrams/graphics
• A conclusion written in paragraph form may improve the readability of this section
• Consider listing recommendations in bullet-style to remain brief
• The formal report draft is clear and can be approved with minimal revisions
• Recommendations avoid using the imperative tone

 

Thank you for submitting your draft and good luck in writing the final report. If you have any questions, please reach out to me at kargarn@student.ubc.ca

 

See Formal Report Draft as posted by Helene