Peer Review for Jenny Li

To: Jenny Li < jiayijennyli@yahoo.ca>

From: Darius Zhang< zhangzhengqiao2018@gmail.com>

Date: October 5, 2021.

Subject: Peer Review for Jenny Li’s Definition Assignment

Thank you for submitting your definition assignment for this unit. I am very impressed by your professional writing style. If I may, below are some suggestions that could be useful in your following revisions.

First impression:

The organization of your writing is very neat and clear. Not only it allows readers to understand the purpose of this assignment, it also shows the kind of effort that has been put into. The visual aid was being placed in the right spot, and nicely cited.

Introduction:

The introduction details the objective of this assignment, such as why we need three levels of definitions, and who can benefit from these definition. Nicely written!

Parenthetical definition:

The  parenthetical definition is very concise and clear, the parenthesis was being placed in the right position of the sentence.

Sentence definition:

The sentence definition was carefully cited in APA format, the meaning of the term “cognitive dissonance” is much more clearer than parenthetical definition. It would be better if the sentence definition paraphrases parenthetical definition rather than being identical.

Expanded definition:

The expanded definition outlines four questions that laymen might be interested in knowing when learning “cognitive dissonance”.

One suggestion is that when answering the first question “What is cognitive dissonance”, the answer can be more elaborated than the “sentence definition” and “parenthetical definition”. This could be one by adding a real-life example that ca resonate with the readers.

Another suggestion for the expanded definition is to edit out small grammar mistake such as:

1. “….to join the cult inorder…”; adding a space in-between “inorder”
2. “….by attributing the absense”; changing“absense” to “absence”
3. “…alignment across our beliefs, attitudes and behaviour”; adding a “,” after “and”.

Final comment:

Overall, I very much enjoyed your writing and I personally learned a lot from this assignment. Thank you for your effort and if you have any questions feel free to email me.