To: Kitty Yan, ENGL 301 student
From: Daniel Tsui, ENGL 301 student
Date: October 18, 2021
Subject: Peer Review for Formal Report Proposal
Peer Review of “A Proposal for Initializing a Fatigue Risk Management Program for WestJet Airport Agents”
Thanks for your well written proposal submitted before the due date! This proposal outlines detailed information on fatigue within the workplace at WestJet booths and its consequences for such actions. Please find the below list of suggestions for improving your proposal.
Format
The research proposal is properly laid out and contains an introduction, problem statement, proposed solution, the scope of the problem, methods, qualifications, and a conclusion. Overall, it was easy to follow along and was a pleasure to read.
Content
The introduction and the problem statements were very well written, highlighting what is already imposed in the similar field and what is not and for whom it applies to. It adequately highlights the consequences of the problem and offers insight to how WestJet operates. The proposal contains a possible solution of mitigating the problem and interviews people from upper end service agents at WestJet in the Vancouver International Airport. The email memorandum is also present in the team forum.
Clarity
The introduction could use a new paragraph when it talks about the example to allow for easier reading. Otherwise, everything was easy to read. The inclusion of explanations in brackets are much appreciated for the people who are not technically inclined but please do understand that the proposal is meant for a specific target audience, which may or may not require the additional explanations as it is part of the technical jargon they are used to. There are no grammatical errors present on your proposal and everything conveys a clear tone and stance at the issue.
Highlights/Weaknesses
The intended audience is clearly marked, and the sources come from upper-level workers. Secondary sources come from reputable sources and do not cause a conflict of interest. The removal of bracket explanations due to the intended audience and breaking out some paragraphs into new paragraphs will make this an even better proposal.
Audience
The proposal does not state the intended audience explicitly, but it is implied that the intended audience is for upper management at WestJet to allocate workers with better conditions and adequate time breaks much like how Transport Canada mandates flight crew to have such.
Concluding Comments
This proposal introducing fatigue risk management to workers of WestJet is properly laid out and has potential to be submitted towards WestJet management to further improve working conditions. Minor adjustments to the proposal is needed but overall, this is a very good proposal. Wishing you the best of luck for approval to continue your research towards this problem. Should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
All the best,
Daniel Tsui
Proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2021wa/2021/10/15/13-formal-report-proposal/
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