To: Tamara Oman, ENGL 301 Student
From: Zoe Maika, ENGL 301 Student
Date: November 19, 2021
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft
Initial Impressions
This report does a great job emphasizing the need for a reduction in paper usage at Keller Williams. Excessive paper usage and its connection to deforestation paints a clear picture why this is an important topic. Areas of paper usage at Keller Williams are clearly outlined and possible solutions are proposed.
Front Matter
- The title page contains all necessary information and looks organized and professional
- The table of contents contains each heading and subheading in the paper with the correct page numbers attached
- Ensure correct pagination
Introduction
- Clearly explains the harmful effects of deforestation and how the paper industry drives it
- Connects the issue of deforestation to Keller Williams
- Writing is professional and draws the reader in
- Using subheadings in the introduction can help the reader follow along more easily
- Writing the list of topics to be discussed in point form is more clear and organized than listing in paragraph form
Data Section
- Explains causes of deforestation and the harm the pulp and paper industry has on the environment
- Outlines sources of paper use at Keller Williams
- Use of subheadings makes the content clear and organized
- Figures aid in understanding the data, however ensure they are correctly labeled in MLA format
- Explores benefits and drawbacks of implementing virtual platforms and stepping away from paper use, fully assessing the feasibility
- Figure 3: Average Annual Cost of Printing is a bit confusing – it makes it look like the cost for each month is the amount indicated (i.e. average cost in November is $1500 for color printing) I suggest changing the type of chart to make it more clear that the cost is adding up over the course of a year
Conclusion
- The summary clearly outlines the topics covered in the report so far
- List of recommendations align with analysis and are clearly laid out in an organized list
End Matter
- Works cited list is present and includes all sources referenced, however make sure it is in proper MLA format
- Consider adding survey questions to an appendix at the end of the report
Grammar & Spelling
- Overall, there are only a few minimal grammatical errors throughout the report
- In the first line of the introduction “Trees are a renewable resource that is critical for habitation…”, change “is” to “are”
- In the third paragraph of the introduction “…analysis of surveys to office realtors…” sounds like it should be “analysis of surveys distributed to office realtors”
- In the first paragraph of the data section, consider changing “…highest effects on deforestation…” to “most effects on deforestation” or “highest impact on deforestation”
- In the final paragraph under Cost Comparison of using Virtual Platforms “The benefits of printing documentation for storage purposes is access…”, change “is” to “are”
Structure & Organization
- The report contains all required components for this draft, except the appendix containing the survey questions
- Overall it is extremely organized and well-structured, the information flows well and each section builds off of the last
Final Thoughts
- Overall, the formal report draft is clear, concise, well-structured, and organized
- The content is aligned with that of a feasibility report and all possible outcomes of moving to a virtual method of documentation are discussed
- With some minor edits, the final draft will be ready to submit
I hope you found my suggestions helpful. If you have any questions, please message me at zoemaika@student.ubc.ca. Thank you!
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