You Attitude and drafting the formal report

The 5 essential rules of YOU attitude:

1. Avoid starting  with “I” or “We.”
2. Avoid “you” when it criticizes the reader. The best way to do this – is to take the reader out of the sentence. See example below*.
3. The You-Attitude avoids condescension by eliminating unnecessary imperatives (commands).
4.  Use the pronoun “you” in the introduction and the conclusion only to help build goodwill and make a positive impression on the reader.
5. Avoid the pronoun “you” within the body of the document.

* Example:

• Wrong: Your facilities for research animals are overcrowded according to ethical standards
• Right: According to ethical standards, facilities for research animals should provide adequate space for comfort.

The Letter of transmission for the formal report provides additional context and persuasion.

Here is an example of a student letter that I have recomposed following the rules above:

Student:

Dear xxx

Below I have included my proposal in regards to implementing separate cages for animals used in research. I have conducted an interview with Wendy Clarence who is the Research Analyst of the Canadian Committee on Animal Care. As well, I have conducted surveys with students at the University of British Columbia to see what their opinions are if this change was to be established. Additional comments have also been acquired through articles found online.

There is a strong belief that animals in research should be well taken care of and thus I bring to you this idea. I believe the information that I have acquired will be useful and informative in understanding what the Canadian institutions on animal ethics believe.

I would also like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to initiate this investigation. If you have further questions, please contact me by email at xxx

Rewrite:

Dear xxx

The ethical treatment of animals is an issue in the public eye, and even more so when research is involved. To assist you with maintaining a high ethical standard of treatment for animals in your care, please accept this formal report investigating the advantages of separate or larger cages for research animals.

The report includes data from surveys that demonstrate positive opinions for ethical animal care among students at UBC and an interview with research analyst from the Canadian Committee on Animal Care. The report concludes with cost feasible recommendations for improving the housing for research animals at your facilities.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to initiate this investigation. If you have further questions, please contact me by email at xxx xxxx