Peer review for Jennifer Macfarlane

TO: Jennifer Macfarlane

FROM: Brent Hanover

DATE: January 22, 2019

SUBJECT: Peer review for Jennifer Macfarlane’s three definitions assignment

I reviewed the first draft of your definitions assignment for ENGL 301. You’ve done great work in presenting an easy-to-follow definition of a computer bug. There are a few details where I think improvement could me made, please see the below:

Requirements: Your parenthetical definition gets the message across clearly, but it doesn’t quite meet the requirements. The definition inside of the parentheses should be able to provide a full definition of the word, but yours does not even include the word ‘computer’. You may want to rewrite the definition so that the phrase inside of the parentheses provides a basic but complete explanation of a computer bug, and then expand on it in the rest of the sentence.

Consistency: I liked how you italicized the words bug and debugging to put emphasis on these words the first time they are introduced. However, switching back and forth between italicized and normal text in the rest of the document is a bit confusing and draws attention away from the information in the report. You should consider either standardizing the document to always italicize the keywords, or just italicizing them the first time they are introduced.

Formatting: I think that one of the best parts of your expanded definition was the use of the visual. The figure of a literal bug that got into the equipment better shows the etymology of a computer bug than a whole article! One comment I can make about the picture’s annotation is that it may look better if it’s a bit smaller font, or italicized, or both. Reports are easier to read if the reader can more easily differentiate between the text of the report and the figure descriptions. ‘FIGURE 1’ also looks better not in all caps and with a semicolon.

Structure: Seven out of the last ten of your sentences are beginning with introductory clauses. The reader can find this repetitive and tiresome quickly, which is why it is better to vary sentence structure. You may want to reconfigure a few of those sentences to give your report better readability.

I hope that you will find these comments useful. Your parenthetical and sentence definitions are concise and convey the subject matter clearly, and your expanded definition flows very well and has high readability. I’m confident that anyone reading your report will quickly and easily grasp the concepts that you are describing. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.