Date: 17th February 2019
Peer Reviewer: Razvan Nesiu
Author: Mahsa Ehtemam
LinkedIn URL: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mahsa-ehtemam-b78177127/
Hi Mahsa,
I appreciate that you are willing to share your LinkedIn profile. Please find below my comments regarding your profile.
First Impressions
At first look, the profile seems to be overall well organized. I noticed that you are connected to 150 individuals, a fact that tells me you are a sociable person, and that you have a strong network. One thing to note is that you could remove the digits and letters that come after your name in the URL. That would make it possible for your peers to identify you on LinkedIn easier.
Profile Photo
The profile picture resembles a professional headshot, and that is exactly what is expected for a LinkedIn profile.
Title Box
Your current title of “Student at The University of British Columbia” is good, but consider specifying in what year are you currently, and include also your major.
Effectiveness of the Summary
The summary is a bit unconcise because you did not specify which team were you part of. Other than that, it is very good that you included your passions and your strengths.
Experience and Achievements
Following these tips will improve this section:
- Rearrange your skills in such a manner so that you will have the top 3 skills as the skills that you plan to apply in your future career
- Provide details regarding which technologies have you used for each company (for example, for Simply Office, you might mention that you used Microsoft Office)
Volunteer Experience
- Include more details for the volunteer experiences.
Education and Courses
- Listing the most important courses you have taken at UBC is important for employers and might give you an advantage over other candidates.
- Including your GPA, if it is competitive, is beneficial to your profile.
Skills
- Ask for more endorsements from your peers (you seem to have a large network and that can help you out).
- Consider adding even more skills to your profile. Every skill that you add counts.
Connections
The number of connections that you have is impressive, and you could easily use that to enhance your profile by asking for endorsements and recommendations.
Grammatical and Expression
There are no major flaws in your writing, but:
- Consider changing the verb tenses so that they are all to past tense (particularly, for the Office Assistant job, you used the present tense for “Manage” and the past tense for “Oversaw”)
Here is a sentence you might consider rephrasing:
- “Working with a team to develop a strategy where we can accomplish a common goal” (from Summary)
Conclusion
To summarize, please find below a list of suggested improvements:
- Remove the unnecessary digits and letters in your profile’s URL
- Change the title so as to include the year you are currently in and your major (ie: “3rd-year Biology Student at The University of British Columbia”)
- Rewrite the first sentence in your summary and make it more specific
- Include details for your volunteer activities
- List the most important courses
- Rearrange your skills so that you will have as the top 3 skills the ones you plan on using from now on
I had a great time looking at your profile, and I hope you will find my suggestions useful. Please do not hesitate to contact me in case you have any questions.
Thank you!
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