ENGL 301: Brionne’s Peer Review of Beenish’s LinkedIn Profile
Date: February 22, 2019
Peer Reviewer: Brionne McWilliams
Author: Beenish Fatima
LinkedIn URL: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beenish-fatimaa/
Hello Beenish,
Thank you for submitting your LinkedIn profile for lesson 2:2. The profile is organized and complete with personal and professional information. Please see my review below including some comments and suggestions for improving the profile.
First Impressions
The LinkedIn profile gives a good first impression. The use of a personalized URL allows recruiters to find the page quickly. The descriptions of work experience are well organized with bulleted lists and separated into paragraphs which increases readability. Each major section of the profile is filled out; however, course information is lacking. A range of skills is listed that are accompanied by endorsements to lend credibility to your strengths.
Profile Photo
The profile picture is good-quality and personable. However, choosing an image that is more professional; perhaps, a picture with your hands by your side, can show your professional qualities.
Title Box
Your title uses keywords to describe your current area of interest; however, they don’t express your future career interests. Consider including your major and describing your intent. An example could be “Psychology Internship.” Including a keyword describing your intentions allows recruiters to search for your profile easily.
Effectiveness of the Summary
Your summary is personable and highlights that you are an innovative thinker, collaborative, optimistic, motivated, and hardworking. However, the summary is quite brief and a bit repetitive when describing the skills mentioned above. Perhaps you could include more information such as your career goals, and a list of technical (intermediate excel) and non-technical skills (public speaking). Review the textbook for suggestions on important assets to include in this section. The summary should ultimately inform recruiters of a range of skills and experiences possessed that would make you a successful problem-solver.
Experience and Accomplishments
Your list of experiences and achievements is extensive and impressive. While the description of your experiences is organized well with bullet points that increase readability, consider formatting every experience with bullet points to make the page more cohesive and visually appealing. Adding more accomplishment statements to describe your results/skills will increase the credibility of the skills listed. For example, “processing and transforming data sets of X amount using X software.” Consider including more details about:
•the dollar amount of funds/donations raised during your role as a student fundraiser
•the specific interpersonal skills used during your role as a community organizer
•your findings and recommendations from your final report as a community organizer
Accomplishments
Listing three significant honors and awards that demonstrate exceptional academic achievements is excellent. Including a complete list of language, abilities can be attractive to recruiters; however, to increase consistency, you should include proficiency information for each language listed.
Volunteer Experience
Excellent descriptions were provided by using accomplishment statements that quantified results. The descriptions showcase your dedication and support for the industry.
•Consider including an accomplishment statement for each position at the UBC Chapter to differentiate the responsibilities and skills endured at each position.
•Include information about independent projects (e.g., Led an assignment or built something on your own) can showcase leadership skills.
Education and Courses
Included all relevant education details (institution, major, and expected graduation year) that will promote connections with other UBC students and alumni. However, to demonstrate knowledge, skills, and academic interest consider adding courses that are relevant to future career aspirations.
Skills
Listed various skills that were each endorsed increase credibility.
Connections
You have made quite a few connections (13) that represent your networking abilities. Increasing the number of connections can demonstrate your influence on others and your persuasion abilities to recruiters.
•Consider increasing connections by joining groups, syncing your contacts from your email, or writing a personalized connection request to influential contacts in your industry and location.
•Consider asking for recommendations from your contacts to give extra credibility to your skills and strengths.
Grammar and Expression
The writing is professional and concise, however:
Community Engagement Facilitator
•“Main objective of perceiving and addressing the needs of residents” – does not contain the correct article. Rewrite: The main objective”
•“Contributed to a research project in conjunction with other UBC students, exploring the critical success factors that influence aging in place.” is an incomplete sentence. Consider rewriting the sentence to include a noun such as “I”.
•”This entailed” – replace “This” with a more specific noun to avoid confusion
Student Fundraiser
•“workingrapport” – typo. Rewrite: “working rapport”
Community Organizer
•“Additionally, there were many one-on-one interactions that involved honing interpersonal skills to appropriately engage with individuals and successfully promote community activism.” –This sentence is wordy and could be more concise. Rewrite: “Additionally, many one-on-one interactions involved honing interpersonal skills to engage with individuals appropriately and successfully promote community activism.
Conclusion
Overall your LinkedIn profile is very strong. You took the time to fill out all the necessary sections to create an appealing profile for recruiters. The thoroughness of your descriptions, endorsements, and personalized URL especially enhance the profile.
My main suggestions for improvement are:
•Include a more professional profile picture
•Change the title/headline to include keywords that describe your future job aspirations
•Add more details in the summary to cover a broader range of skills and include relevant keywords for your industry
•Include courses that showcase your academic knowledge
•Be consistent with formatting (bullet lists) and details listed (language proficiency information)
•Increase connections by joining groups and syncing contacts from email
•Proofread profile for grammatical errors and typos
I enjoyed reading your profile and I hope my suggestions are helpful. Please don’t hesitate to ask me any questions.
Thank you,
Brionne McWilliams
Enclosure: Brionne’s LinkedIn Peer Review Template
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