This is a re-post of a re-post of a blog that too many people seem to have missed or forgotten.
One of the tricks of technical writing is to avoid generalities and provide details – as concisely as possible.
Here are a few examples to learn this trick:
Example:
- “The target population of your proposed survey is relevant and appropriate.”
- ‘target population’ is a general term – be specific, provide the details:
Rewrite:
- Surveying CS undergraduate students and undergraduate instructors is relevant and appropriate.
Example:
- A quick summary of background and interests.
- ‘background’ and ‘interests’ are generalities – be specific, provide the details:
Rewrite:
- A summary of academic background: Earth Sciences/Geophysics and interests: swimming and volunteering with St, John’s Ambulance.
Example: Your proposal effectively illustrates a pressing concern and introduces a framework to directly address it.”
- “A pressing concern” is too general. Rewrite: Study rooms are over-crowed and lacking in resources
- “A framework” is too general. Rewrite: solutions for expanding the study spaces ..
Example: While the issue this inquiry plans to address is important …..
- What is ‘the issue’ ?
- Why is the issue important?
All Generalities/ no details: “I have peer-reviewed your formal report proposal, which was very impressive overall. The topic of your report is very relevant to both our community and UBC’s values, as mentioned in your proposal. Your proposed questions of investigation are appropriate to gain a full insight into this problem. The overall proposal was strong and informative.”
With Details: “Thank you for submitting your proposal for determining the feasibility of increasing volunteer recruitment into the Rehabilitation Recreation Program at Minoru Residence. You have done an outstanding job in providing a good basis for increasing the amount of volunteers in order to help operate larger activities for the wellbeing of the seniors. Following are some suggestions for further improving this proposal: … “
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