To: Razvan Nesiu
From: Mahsa Ehtemam
Date: March 28th, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Application Package
Dear Razvan,
Thank you for submitting the rough draft of your application package. After reading through all your documents, I have completed a peer review for you offering some insight and suggestions to improve your application.
Initial Impressions:
At a glance, your application looks full of information and very detailed. The formatting is slightly off, which may be due to computer problems. All the required sections are provided, in order. From a brief glance, your resume looks detailed but a bit clustered. Overall, I think the final submission will be a strong application.
Job Posting:
The posting is included, and even has the header associated with it. MLA format looks correct as well for the reference.
Cover Letter:
Structure
The format is neat and professional. Consider adding your address and contact information under your name, as this is normally what is required in a cover letter. I also suggest not putting the subject in the middle, but on the left hand side.
Introductory Paragraph
The content is well written and strong, but there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes. To keep it professional, avoid using apostrophes and use full words instead (I’m à I am) as well as the word “and” instead of the symbol &. Enthusiast should be changed to enthusiastic to make grammatical sense. Others than that, you demonstrate that you are well suited for the position.
Body Paragraphs
Your body paragraph is powerful and informative and gives specific examples that indicate how you would be a successful candidate for the position. There are also no grammar or spelling errors in this paragraph. Both your education and work experience has been highlighted. You can try and relate it back to the position if you think it would make it stronger.
Conclusion
Like your body paragraph, your conclusion was powerful and detailed, and wrapped up your letter nicely. You can add a sentence to say you would make a good employee for them. Consider adding your signature after the closing salutation. Attempt to write more with a “You” attitude as we learned in this course and avoiding beginning so many sentences with “I.”
Resume:
Structure
As I mentioned above, it looks very informative and detailed but slightly clustered. Try to keep only the necessary information and try different formatting styles and smaller fonts for some sections to keep it looking clean and professional. Try to not cut off a section halfway through a page, and keep formatting consistent across sections.
Heading
Make sure to not include the running head on your resume. Instead of writing your year and expected graduation, consider just writing “Prospective Graduate.” Adding an address is also quite common when writing resumes as it will allow the employer to know where you are located.
Work Experience
You are obviously very experienced and have a strong profile, which will appeal the hiring managers. To keep it clean, consider merging it with the “Additional Work Experience Section.”
Projects
Congratulations of being a part of so many projects! This is impressive. The format of the dating is not aligned. Ensure that you use the same tense, and not switch back from present to past.
Other Activities
The content is great and makes your application strong, but both the heading and the randomness should be presented differently. In the last point, use a different word instead of “Got” that will be more professional.
References
You should add a section that mentions you can provide references upon request. This is extremely important for many employers, so they can validate your application.
Reference Letters:
Format
The correct format of a reference letter should be similar to a cover letter, thus the sender’s address should be included at the top left under the name. Consider centralizing the whole letter, so it is not centred at the top, with a lot of empty space on the bottom.
Body
The content of all your letters are clear, concise and polite. I advise that you provide examples and suggestions that you would like each reference to endorse for you, to make your application stronger and more tailored. You can even enclose the job posting to give them a better idea of what the employer is looking for.
Conclusion
As with the body, it is professional and well-mannered. I recommend adding your signature again, as with the cover letter.
Conclusion:
Your application package has been great overall and I believe you have presented yourself as a competitive applicant for the position. With a few minor adjustments of formatting and minor grammar and spelling mistakes, your application will be ready for submission. It was a pleasure to be able to peer review your work. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at mahsa_09@hotmail.com.
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