Good Monday 301,
Here is an example of an excellent peer review from Unit One
Subject: Peer Review of Technical Definitions Assignment – Algorithm
Thank you for submitting your Unit 1.3 assignment on technical definitions. You have clearly outlined the purpose of the assignment and the overall document is concise. Nonetheless, the following sections of this peer review document provide some comments and recommendations that may improve your overall assignment.
First Impressions
The introduction to the assignment is well written and the objectives are thorough, yet brief. The overall document is easy to follow and quite concise. However, while the in-text citations seem to be in APA format, your citation format for Figure 1 is in MLA – this minor inconsistency requires some revision (MLA uses ‘Source’ while APA tends to use ‘Note’). Overall, the document needs a bit more structure and some minor revisions to enhance readability, as discussed below.
Purpose
As noted earlier, the purpose of the assignment is to the point and the objectives provided in the readings are properly paraphrased and condensed.
Situation and Audience
The definition given is accurately defined, and the opening paragraph as a whole, including the comparison, helps the reader in understanding ‘algorithm.’
However, the document does not outline the specific situation and audience of “non-technical readers”. For instance, the following could be applicable to your chosen term:
- Situation: Nancy Wu, a graduate of Computer Science, has recently started as a volunteer at a summer camp.
- Audience: One student asks Nancy to explain what an algorithm is, where it is used, and its use in everyday life.
The level of detail required will depend on the particular audience being addressed. Although the current expanded definition is short and contains an excellent example (second paragraph), further expansion may be required. Consider replacing “…associated with computer science” to “associated with computer science and mathematics” (paragraph 1, sentence 4)
The use of jargon is limited – this increases readability.
Organization
The following expansion methods are evident in your expanded definition:
- Etymology: The origin of the term is well described, however, this method does not fully aid in clarifying the meaning of the word.
- Comparison: The analogy presented in the first paragraph is well needed as it allows readers to compare the technical term to simple, everyday tasks.
- Example(s): The example in the second paragraph is easy to follow and is simple enough for any non-technical reader to comprehend.
- Visual(s): Typically, figures are not standalone. Figure 1 is not referenced anywhere in-text. It is recommended to either explain the visual with text or create a flowsheet (similar to Figure 1) that ties into the example presented in the second paragraph.
The introduction to your assignment is succinct and very well composed. Additionally, both the parenthetical and sentence definitions are brief and understandable. However, there are currently two (2) paragraphs in the expanded definition. It is recommended to separate sections appropriately and to add bolded headings accordingly – this will improve readability.
The document also needs a proper thesis statement to allow the reader to know what to except. The addition of a closing statement or paragraph will greatly help to reinforce the ideas presented in the body of the document.
Final Impressions / Conclusion
Overall, the term chosen is well described and the definitions are applicable to a wide range of readers. Although the document may require some changes, as it pertains to organization and structure, the content presented is properly researched and aids in understanding the term. Your thorough and concise introduction, in addition to the example of an algorithm, are some of the effective elements that stand out from your document.
The following minor changes may also help:
- Replace ‘word’ with ‘term’ (introduction – sentence 1)
- Rephrase the end of the parenthetical definition (after “… is often illustrated…”) so that the sentence flows a bit more.
- Replace ‘They’ with ‘Algorithms’ (sentence definition – sentence 2).
I hope that the aforementioned recommendations are helpful. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me at jamie_jackson_samuel@alumni.ubc.ca.
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