To: Ayazhan Makhambetova
From: Razvan Nesiu
Date: 4th of February, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal
First Impression
The article contains the right amount of sections, and it clearly describes the problem and the solution. You identified a problem that not many people are aware of, and that makes it an interesting read for most of the readers.
Introduction
The introduction provides a good background to the reader, and it presents the situation in a brief manner.
Statement of Problem
The statement contains one topic sentence, 2 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The environmental impact was well described, as well as the health problems that arise when using paper cups.
Proposed Solution
Some possible solutions that you talked about were using biodegradable plastic cups or hard-plastic reusable cups. One detail that you omitted to discuss about is whether those alternatives you mentioned contain Bisphenol A or not. In other words, you could have compared them and came up with a ranking for the healthiest options.
Methods
The only comment I have to make here is that you can include an example of an online forum for coffee shop customers or an article about a coffee company that already adopted an environmentally aware decision.
Scope
The questions are well phrased and they constitute a good plan for implementing the idea of a better alternative for the paper cups.
My Qualifications
You stated clearly the role you had in the company, and the duration for which you worked over there. Moreover, you wrote your observations regarding the reluctance of the people and of the companies towards adopting environmentally aware decisions.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarises the report in a concise manner, bringing the reader’s attention to the fact that paper cups are harmful not only for the environment but also for regular coffee drinkers that use such cups.
Grammar
There are a few grammatical errors, but overall the paper is well written. For instance, “that are essential for a lot of species o survive” from paragraph 2 in the Introduction should be corrected to “that are essential for a lot of species to survive”. In the Proposed Solution section, you wrote “Paper cups create problem because …”, omitting to include an article in front of “problem“. In My Qualifications section, you specified “I have worked as a barista in the Costa Coffee franchise in Kazakhstan …”. You probably meant that you worked in “a Costa Coffee franchise in Kazakhstan”.
Concluding Comments
Overall, the paper is well-written and it drives home the point of being more environmentally conscious. If you have any question regarding my peer review for you, please send me an email or a message on Facebook.
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