Peer Review of Rida’s Formal Report Draft – Izabel

To: Rida Irshad, English 301 Student Writer

From: Izabel Lopez, English 301 Student Reviewer

Date: July 30th, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft: Determining Effectiveness of Subsidized Dental Programs in Ontario, Canada

Thank you for sharing your formal report draft on increasing community oral hygiene for individuals with special needs. You have excellently organized your formal report from the introduction, data collected, and conclusion. The following feedback below provides suggestions for improving this formal report:

Content

• The introduction was the most informative section of the draft. It explains the importance of preventive dentistry. It also describes the methods used to determine the development of community programs for individuals with SHCNs.
• The conclusion requires a detailed solution that is workable and affordable. 
• The draft identifies the problem and misses analyzing the problem.
• No technical terms in the report need definition as one of the identified readers is the President of Alberta Dental Foundation. Each section is relevant to the identified readers. 

Organization

• • The breakdown of each subsection under the Introduction, Data Collected, and Conclusion has a great flow of information.
  • The organization of the draft is clear and effective at all points.
  • The headings and sub-headings of the draft reveal the contents of Community Oral Hygiene Programs for Individuals with Special Needs clearly.
  • The introduction needs to be edited to avoid large chunks of text. Please refer to the instructor’s blog.

• “Secondary data was collected through in-person interview questions in the dental clinic with dental professionals and caretakers. They provided a broader understanding of the challenges, demand, and perspective for this research.”

Style

• The tone of the report is objective rather than subjective.
• The tone of the report is positive from the introduction to the conclusion. 
• The draft didn’t have a distinct paragraph or passage that was challenging to read the writer’s intent. 

Design

• Figure one was well-designed, correctly and effectively labelled, and effectively integrated into the print content of the report.
• Figure two was reader-friendly and visually appealing. The spacing, font size, and layout of figure two were easy to interpret. 

Overall Revisions: 

• Reduce the chunks of text as shown in the instructor’s blog. 
• Include the data analysis after each figure in the Data Collected section for a smoother transition from one subsection to another.

I hope this peer review was informative and useful for your final formal report. Please reach out for any clarification or questions. Thank you for your time!

Rida’s Formal Report Draft: DRAFT – formal report engl 301