Name of Reviewer: Izabel Lopez
Author’s Name: Rida Irshad
Title of the Expanded Definition: Definitions Assignment – Periodontitis
Initial Impression
For a reviewer who is not familiar with the dental field, I found your paper insightful and informative to a general audience. Periodontitis is spoken less often than Gingivitis and would be considered a foreign term to most people. Reading through your definitions helped me better understand the cause behind Periodontitis and how it can be prevented.
A recommendation for this paper would be to reference the figures in your sentences.
Purpose
The purpose of the definition assignment was concisely explained and executed in the paper. I learned about what Periodontitis is, what causes it, and how it can be prevented. I appreciated how Periodontitis was further explained in the expanded definition to demonstrate a high level of understanding of the topic. However, the parenthetical definition was written similarly to the sentence definition.
Audience
I found this assignment to be suited for the general audience because it was providing additional definitions to terms that supported Periodontitis. At first glance, this term looked intimidating. Reading through the definitions, Periodontitis became more tangible to understand.
Changes
The paper was missing the situation and audience of “non-technical reader” as mentioned in step 2 of the “Write Three Definitions” description in Lesson 1:3.
The parenthetical could be improved by stating the definition in the brackets only. One way to improve the definition is to explain the results of Periodontitis such as the following: “Periodontitis (gum disease) can result in destroying the support structures of the tooth. ”
As mentioned in the initial impressions, reference the figures with the corresponding sentences so that readers can connect the explanation to the picture.
The words “multifactorial” and “ligaments” could be simplified in the expanded definition. For “ligaments”, you can replace them with the bracketed term (ie. muscles).
Organization
Used methods for expanding definition:
- How did its name originate?
- What causes it?
- How is it different from another term (ie. Gingivitis)?
- How can it be prevented?
These expansion methods were well executed for the term being defined. The paper included the information required to learn and explain Periodontitis to a general audience.
Final Impressions
Great job! I appreciate learning about Periodontitis. Prior to this paper, I didn’t know the next step to gum disease. Your work demonstrates passion and interest. I like how you included subheadings in your expanded definition and provided figures to represent what you’re describing.
Some changes I provided include making references to your figures in the corresponding sentences and adding the situation where you explain Periodontitis to a person who is not in the dental field.
Overall, Great work with the definitions! The paper was clear and concise.
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