Assignment 3.3 | Peer Review of Jennifer’s Report Draft

To: Jennifer Dunbar, English 301 Student Writer

From: Karolina Atehortua, English 301 Student Reviewer

Date: April 3, 2023

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft, on Implementing Pedestrian Safety Measures on The Arbutus Greenway. 

Thank you for submitting this report draft for implementing pedestrian safety measures on Arbutus Greenway. You have done a great job in providing solutions for elevating safety measures on Arbutus Greenway. Below are some suggestions for further improving this report.

First Impression: 

One of the report’s major strengths is that it considers both pedestrian and driver safety. Analyzing current Vancouver bylaws in relation to the use of electric transport devices (ETDs) and the potential injuries that these cause provides a larger picture of the issue.

Content: 

• The ‘Background on the Increase of ETDs use’ provides a clear and concise overview of the problem. 
• The section on data analysis is well-researched and is presented in a way that is easy to understand.
• In Conclusion section, ‘Interpretation of Findings”  the conclusion can be strengthened by tying the findings and recommendations more explicitly back to the original problem statement (perhaps add some numbers). 
• The report has identified and analyzed a problem, and provided appropriate recommendations. Nevertheless, the recommendations are generally workable and affordable, but some may require additional resources or stakeholder to implement effectively.
• Technical terms such as ETDs are well defined throughout the report. 
• Generally, the report is logically laid out with a clear problem statement, data analysis, and recommendations section that build upon each other in a logical progression
• Each section is relevant to the intended audience and provides information that is important for understanding the problem and proposed solutions. However, some sections may require more or less detail depending on the reader’s level of expertise or interest in the subject matter. 
• There were no major grammatical or spelling errors observed. 

Organization: 

The organization of the draft is generally clear, but there are a few areas were it could be improved: 

• The title page looks great, no additional information is needed. 
• The table of contents and headings are accurate and follow a logical manner. 
• Some sections could benefit from more explicit transition sentences to better signal how the content is related to what came before.
• There are no major gaps in information or unnecessary sidetracks. 
• The figures are yet to be organized, so no comments for these. But I would suggest including a figure and then the corresponding text, makes it easier to follow along. 

Style: 

• The tone of the report is objective and informative. In fact, the tone is neutral throughout and does not lean towards being overly positive or negative.
• The report could benefit from more use of the “you-attitude” towards the identified reader.
• Break up long paragraphs into shorter ones to make them more digestible. Such as the “Background on the Increase of Electric Bicycle and E-Scooter use” section. 

Design: 

• The report contains numerous illustrations, which is beneficial as it helps the reader to comprehend the data more effectively.
• The figures are appropriately labeled. 
• As this is a draft, there is no clear layout of the visuals presented yet, nevertheless when arranging these figures try to spread it equally so that each page has some visuals where appropriate. Do not overcrowd visual on one page. 

Revisions: Please note the suggested revisions in this review that will improve the quality:

• Strengthening the conclusion as noted in Content section. 
• Transition sentences as noted in Organization section. 
• Suggestion on the layout of the figures as noted in Organization section. 
• Use “you-attitude” towards the intended audience as noted in Style section. 
• Break down some paragraphs as noted in Style section. 

Overall, this is an impressive draft for an important investigation that could help pedestrians and general users of the AG to utilize it safely. I hope these suggestions are helpful for the revision process. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or further clarification. Good Job! 

Formal Report Draft_Jenn Dunbar