My Venture and Elevator Pitches are for …
My Venture and Elevator Pitches are for a hypothetical enterprise called m-Learning India. A company that works closely with NGOs and India’s public health system to develop e-learning games, and applications for mobile devices that deliver relevant health information to marginalized groups of people.
My Elevator Pitch can be viewed on youtube: http://youtu.be/W-J1wcR-0to
My Venture Pitch is linked here: https://blogs.ubc.ca/etec522may12/files/2012/07/ETEC-522-Venture-Pitch-McInnes.pdf
Posted in: Venture Forum
Donna Forward 3:32 pm on July 30, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hello David,
I’ll first start with my critique of things that I feel that you could have improved in your presentation. Your Elevator Pitch lacked enthusiasm in your voice and sometimes you had black text against black background, so it was a bit hard to follow. I do believe it was also a bit long. Your venture pitch fell short however (just over 1,000 words) and lacked a plan for the next few years.
I like the idea of your venture concept to provide health-based mobile games. Your target of the millions of mobile users in India is also a brilliant idea for future prospects. I also like your altruistic goal to move away from greed and providing an opportunity for positive social change.
Your elevator pitch is very colourful and I enjoyed your humour with the names of some of the members of your team – Missy Dogood and Appy D. Veloper:)
Hope that all is well in Whitehorse.
Donna
shawn harris 4:55 pm on July 30, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David,
Thanks for sharing your pitches! I know like others you must have worked really hard on them. I get that your proposal is to try to partner with the government and NGO’s along with public health advocates to generate engaging e-learning mobile games that are health considered. It seems like a lucrative business to get involve in.
I do agree with you that there is a big market for mobile phone technology also. You have a good idea for this venture, however the way in which you pitched it, it may not get off the ground to be honest. The choice of delivery for the elevator pitch wasn’t your best. No enthusiasm was heard in your voice to grab the audience’s attention. As a matter of fact I could hardly hear what you were saying and when I tried to read the words to follow the clips that was challenging too. It was not engaging enough to make me even want to see the venture pitch. However, I still went ahead and read it; and it was a good presentation.
I do think your venture has a market that is increasingly growing overtime. You have provided a detailed venture pitch with information about the market and the product. The concept is a good one…thanks for sharing it with us however I do not believe I want to invest at this time.
~ Shawn
Dave Horn 10:53 pm on July 30, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David
I am a big proponent of using mobile technology and can see a lot of potential for these as tools and it does seem like there is a large market in India. However, the pitch did not grab my attention as the voice was to flat and the text was hard to read on multiple frames. I can see the advertizing companies covering some of the costs, but I wondered how likely it was for people to be into health related games and if it is targeting a marginalized group, what level of educational games will be successful?
Dave
Colin 10:22 am on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David,
I like your concept and the number of people in India you can potentially help with this product. By investing in your company, I don’t think your investors would expect good financial returns but they would be philanthropic people for sure. One area that you can improve on is your elevator pitch. Consider a less upbeat, more subtle background music to match the tempo of your voice.
Overall, if I were expecting good financial returns, I would not invest. I would learn more if I were representing the Indian government for public health. Thank you for sharing this idea.
Colin
Brian H 10:34 am on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
David,
As an investor I am not interested in your product as an investment. This pitch would be very relevant (and share greater success) with philanthropists who have a strong sense of the cultural and social needs in India.
It is a worthy cause. Keep up the effort.
Brian
Yves Mainville 10:36 am on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David.
I think your elevator pitch was well produced and very significant. Like the others however, it would need to be propped up a bit more to heighten listener engagement.
That being said, the numbers seem solid and even if a small percentage of the market uses the service, there can be significant upside.
I am not all familiar or comfortable with ad-based revenue service/products and would need more information to commit.
Thanks for the presentation.
dmcinnes 2:59 pm on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks all for your frank feedback. I appreciate you taking the time to look at my pitches. The common trend of feedback about the lack of excitement in my voice is not a new one to me, but it is how I talk. I tried to sound more enthusiastic, but it came across as cheesy and insincere. Something for me to work on for sure.
David
Yves Mainville 4:32 pm on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I think it is very cool that you take the comments this way as it is not always easy to not do so. Kudos on a winning attitude.
-y
dmcinnes 5:07 pm on August 4, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks Yves. I appreciate it.
Dave
Ronna Hoglund 4:19 pm on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David,
Thank you for sharing your pitches. Your idea seems very solid and culturally sensitive – it is a good one! Your physical presence in the elevator pitch would add a lot in persuading potential investors to open their wallets!
Ronna
Hussain Luaibi 6:23 pm on July 31, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David
Thank you for sharing your venture with us. Your venture seems based on accurate analysis of the market in India. With 7 million people buying or subscribing to mobile services, India can be a great market for innovative ideas like the one you are promoting in your pitch. There is no doubt the idea of the project will be tempting to many investors. The problem with it is that you are entering a very competitive market especially India. India is overpopulated , over-invested and over-speculated. So it will be hard to break into the field there.
You mentioned that the project can be done with the help of ministry of health of India. That is great because it will add credibility to the project and makes investors more flexible or more accepting of the whole project.
There is another thing that you need to take care of which is the unannounced level of poverty in India. That can’t be overlooked if you want to start a project like that . I know it is cheap to have a game for $0.2. But can the downtrodden class afford that?
Generally speaking your project can be very successful and this could be ascribed to the fact that India is a huge market for technology now…like all other countries.
I have the same concerns about the slow pace of the pitch. But I don’t really look at it as a problem.
Great job, David
Hussain
mariefrancehetu 6:30 am on August 1, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hello David,
As a potential investor, I would probably not have been interested in moving on to your venture pitch based on your elevator pitch. However, I think you did a good job of presenting your venture. I found your pitch was strong, covering all the important aspects of your venture. I especially liked the honesty and comparison of your company’s challenges vs your strengths.
In order to grab the investor’s attention fromt he start, I think it might be best to restructure some elements. Perhaps it would be best to present yourself and the nature of your company first. – an enthusiastic video clip might work well. It is near the end of your pitch that I started to feel this is a company I could invest in, however some investors may have lost interest before getting to the end.
I do think there is a future in mobile technology and there is indeed a growing market in India. I think the humanistic motive behind the venture is what appealed to me the most.
Even though the cost for downloading the app is low, I fear it might still be too much for some . . . perhaps there is a way to get sufficient partnerships or philanthropists to actually cover all the costs?
Marie-France
Kenton Hemsing 7:43 am on August 2, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David,
I like the idea that you have presented and to be honest, the content speaks of a greater purpose. I feel that I would be ready to invest in your venture given a bit more information. Questions that have popped into my head have been:
1) What are your future goals for the company? Will there be expansion into other markets, countries, fields?
2) Compared to your existing competitors, what do you offer that is different and exciting? Are you packaging very similar products, or is there a significant difference that makes your better?
3) Are you planning to control the type of advertising that is seen on the application? I worry that sometimes there will be a possible conflict between what users are learning from the games and what could possibly be advertised on the application.
Also, before I invest, I would like to talk about the possibility of expanding your company to another emerging market and possibly if a few years creating m-Learning Africa. Continuous expansion will be needed for me to invest my money in your venture.
Your elevator pitch and venture plan are very good and easy to follow, but I feel that they are possibly lacking some important information. I did like your honesty in showing the weaknesses and strengths of your venture, it shows me as an investor that you have a realistic outlook on your purpose.
Thanks, and good work.
Kenton
dmcinnes 5:24 pm on August 4, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Kenton,
Thanks for your feedback and questions.
1.) The future goals would include expansion into other developing countries. There will always be people in need and countries that are coming “on stream” in the mobile market. Getting information (even non-health education) centered will always be a priority, so I believe there is enormous potential for growth and to diversify. US AID for example, does this type of work in Africa, Latin America and India.
2.) As I stated in my venture pitch, I am not trying to hide that there are other competitors with a head start, however they are companies that humanitarian organizations have gone to and asked to develop their product. The difference from my end is that we would specialize in the content creation, working with partnerships and then sell the advertising. This would be our primary focus, not a side project.
3.) I do plan on vetting the advertising. It would have to be in step with the information we are providing. The apps themselves would be free to the consumer, and we could use scan codes to bring the users to the app store or URL to download them.
Thanks again for your interest.
David
mackenzie 4:54 pm on August 2, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
The visuals were good but the text drew me away from them. The reading of the text was not an effective use of this medium since after a few seconds I found myself simply trying to read the text and I was ignoring the visuals and missing the message.
Sherman Lee 11:08 pm on August 2, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi David,
Thank you for the presentation. I think you do have an market available for you to carry out your vision. With the millions of users, the potential is definitely there. As I am very keen on health education as well, I think you have a great, respectable product there.
However, I would have to agree with others that the elevator pitch seems a little flat. It would be great if I hear more of your enthusiasm through your voice. Energy carries through to listeners. As well, the biggest question mark for me was your competition. I understand that there are millions of users, but do you think they already have a head start and would have drowned the market already? What made you certain that there is space?
I would definitely be interested in another pitch from you. Please let me know when you are ready to pitch again.
Sherman
dmcinnes 5:30 pm on August 4, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks Sherman for your feedback and interest.
No denying that there are other competitors already out there, however the mobile industry in India is still somewhat “new”. With the largest growth of new subscribers/month in the world, I believe there is ample space. My feeling is that with my company being solely focused on this project, rather than entertaining diverse goals, I can do a better job than the competitors.
Thanks again.
David