The role of art in reconstructing self-identity and healing

I continued my quest for self-identity through experimental teaching in my own art class. In 2014, I started teaching art to elementary students in church. Our projects were story-based, integrating songs, music, drama, and play. One of my students was a talented 6-year-old girl, Zhen, who experienced domestic abuse. Zhen was sensitive and lacked self esteem, and constantly asked herself where she came from. She could not believe the woman who hurt her most could be her natural mother, and she could not understand why she came into this world. In class, she would sit alone, not talking, not interacting with other students. Instead, she would deeply submerge herself in the world of her imagination and art making. I realized that art making was an escape from “the reality” for her.

Art has a power to reach inner soul and release inner emotion. Zelenina, one of art therapists, states: “It’s an escape from reality to enter a zone where we find ourselves, and that is the zone where true healing will happen” (2015). To let true healing happen, I designed a “suffering” project for my students, which focused on: (1) recognizing inner fear, (2) cultivating an attitude of gratitude, (3) transforming fear into hope, and (4) regaining a new identity.

Recognizing inner fear

Recognizing inner fear for children is the first step to heal inner pain. Finding a way to discover and heal the wound is a tough job, which requires a teacher to be extremely loving, caring, and sensitive. To better connect to their inner feelings, I led my students from concept to real life experience and made the story personal and meaningful. They were also encouraged to draw their inner fear, as Zhen did.

Wish mum could be changed by Zhen, 2015   In reality, Zhen’s mom blamed her for anything. In the drawing, Zhen wishes that her mom would care about her more than her mistake of breaking a cup.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude

The Tent in Classroom I set up a tent to symbolize poor living environment of poor people.

Suffering is the hardest problem to understand, especially for kids. Suffering, as a result of the lack of meaning in life, does exist among all human beings. I believe the challenge for human beings to cope with pain is a way to move from the mere Being-there to true human Existence – that is, the ability to understand pain, empathy, and sympathize with others, because we are not just objects. For young children who have never experienced pain, I created some lessons on learning about child laborers in poor conditions, appreciating the painting made by children from concentration camps, and experiencing life in a tent and in the dark by shutting window blinds in the classroom. These activities helped young students to better understand suffering, cultivate an attitude of gratitude, and not take everything for granted.

Transforming fear into hope

Once the students have the ability to recognize their own or other people’s pain, they were ready to deliver their feelings to God. If prayer is the best way to talk to God — “the great comforter” — then meditation is the best way to listen to God. Meditation is the key to connect the soul deeply with the Divine power, which can bring about a spiritual transformation. Meditation is pondering the Word of God in our hearts and preaching it to our own souls. The Word of God lights up life in the midst of any circumstance. Art making is self-reflection on the Word of God as the heart of meditation, which helps personally apply it to their own lives and circumstances.

Under His Wing You Will Find Refuge by Zhen, 2015 Zhen found peace in God’s words and visualized His protection as wings.

Music plays a great role in healing as well. Whenever they were making art, I played spiritual music to calm their soul. I also gave them more freedom of motion, such as painting on the floor or sitting wherever they felt most comfortable. Body movement enhances kids learning and promotes motivation. “Movement, or physical activity, is thus an essential factor in intellectual growth, which depends upon the impressions received from outside. Through movement we come in contact with external reality, and it is through these contacts that we eventually acquire even abstract ideas” (Montessori, 1936). Unique experiences surprise and stimulate kids to see things from new perspectives, as well as develop their creative thinking.

	A Corner of Classroom

Regaining a new identity

Where do I come from? Who am I? What is the purpose of life?

These questions were raised not only by Zhen, me, and youth with challenges, but probably also by the majority of people worldwide. Harvard political scientist Samuel Huntingdon, as he surveyed the post-Cold War realities in The Clash of Civilisations (1998), warned of a world that is “anarchical, rife with tribal and national conflicts”. He saw the end of the twentieth century marked by an “eruption of a global identity crisis.”

For whatever reason, it seems that one of the problems many people face is finding out where they fit in the scheme of things. The concept of identity is shown to be fluid and changeable over the course of life. As children continue to grow, their nascent sense of self is influenced by a variety of factors: their interaction with others, especially their caregivers; their increasing capacity for autonomy; their development of language skills and the ability to communicate their thoughts and feelings about themselves with others; their roles in school, family and society (Glucksman, 2007). All of these factors combine to shape their development of “core self-identity,” which is extremely plastic and can change within the context of interpersonal and environmental circumstances. However, when an environment no longer exists, or an interrelationship has changed, they many feel lost.

A change in environment could cause us to lose our identity to some extent. Thus, what is the core of identity not affected by the environment or outside world? In the course of teaching, I finally found my true identity from a Christian perspective. It is an identity that grows out of a relationship to God, who created the universe for our benefit, who was willing to endure infinite suffering in order that we might find our true identity. “God’s Spirit doesn’t make us slaves who are afraid of him. Instead, we become his children and call him our Father. God’s Spirit makes us sure that we are his children” (Romans 8:15,16). Realizing my identity in Christ is absolutely vital to my healing process. This identity change was a result of gaining my sense of belonging, through the process of helping students establish their identity. Developing identity also helped me develop self confidence by regaining a sense of competence I had lost when coming to Canada, and was not able to find employment. By identifying my purpose in life – that art education can help young people build their self identity and help them grow as human beings – these accomplishments improved my spiritual and physical wellbeing.

Next step, my students painted their wishes and prayers on kites and flew them in the air as they delivered their messages to God. That was an amazing transition process for them: from despair into hope, from an unstable sense of identity to an identity as a child of God, and from broken to whole.

Painting and Flying the Kites

During the activity, Zhen walked up to me and said she had never felt such joy before; no longer did she feel she was worthless, since she knew God cared about her and loved her so much. Compared to some children who lived in poor conditions, she felt she came to understand how she was privileged, and that she should pray for them too.

	The Blessing of Lord, by Zhen, 2015 This is Zhen’s last painting of this project. She wrote: “In Jesus’s eyes, you are beautiful and shining…Jesus loves you…Jesus is my lord…”

The most memorable moment for me was while we were flying kites. The students’ parents came and were going to pick their kids up, but ended up joining in and flying the kites with their kids in the schoolyard. This was a great opportunity for families to spend time together, build reconciliation, and reconstruct everyone’s identity in the context of family relationships. They may not have these opportunities like this very often.

During the course of my teaching, I have seen the children’s growth. In fact, I, as well as Zhen, regained an identity as a child of God. Before teaching the “suffering” project, my heart was filled with bitterness, anger, discontentment, and I did not count His blessings. This project made me reflect on my past from a new perspective. As His child, I was never forgotten or forsaken in the first place. Thank God for giving me health and the strength to keep going when I really wanted to give up. God uses His words to heal me and deliver me out of all our destructions, and art allows us to reach deep inside ourselves. Art bridges the gap between soul, mind, and body; our whole self and the Divine one.