To be brutally honest, I have had houses but not a home.

If I have to pick a home, I would make different choices by different periods of my life. As a missionary kid, I had the privilege of growing up in a multi-cultural environment. However, looking at a personal level, I didn’t realize that I was struggling with my origin until I came to UBC. All my life I lived in Malaysia, so I would consider Malaysia my hometown. Even though I am of Korean ethnicity, I didn’t have the chance to live and grow as a normal Korean just like my peers would do. I grew up with Korean being my fourth language. I talked and acted like a Malaysian, because I considered Malaysia to be my home. I lived in a small city called Sibu, in the state of Sarawak of Malaysia. Being the only Korean family that lived there, I had no connection whatsoever to Korean culture and Korean lifestyle. Even though I knew I was Korean, my home was Sibu.

When university came along however, I changed my home to Vancouver. See, the perks of growing up as a third-culture kid (TCK) is that you adapt really quickly. By the time I was in my first week of university, I was already acting and talking like a Canadian. I surrounded myself with friends of American/Canadian culture, and was trying hard to fit in. Fitting in wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but deep inside I always had the yearn to find a real home. Somewhere I can rest with a peace of mind. Not worrying about when to leave, how long to stay, or even moving to a different place.

After my first year in UBC, I had to go back to Korea for my mandatory military service. Honestly I didn’t feel the need for me to serve “my country” which wasn’t exactly what I considered Korea to be. But nonetheless, I went to basic training, was assigned a post, and started my life in Korea for the remaining days of service. It was not what I expected to be when I pictured myself living in Korea, but being surrounded by the language and the people of same ethnicity was enough to awaken the inner Korea in me. And before I even knew it, my home was Korea.

Throughout different time periods of my life, my concept of where home is has changed. At first it was Malaysia, then Canada, then Korea, and since I’m back here, I would say Canada, but my experience in Korea was an eye-opener for me because now that I have had the chance to live in my home country, I was able to differentiate the difference between being a foreigner and being at one’s own country. Just the fact of being a foreigner already gives out the feeling of loneliness and exclusion.

So when people ask me about my home, I always contemplate whether I should tell them where I’m from, or where I grew up, or where I’m living in right now, because all three answers are different.

Works Cited

Toyryla, Laura. “Military Service in Korea.” 90 Day Korean®, 90 Day Korean®, 30 Sept. 2019, www.90daykorean.com/military-service-in-korea/.

Mayberry, Kate. “Third Culture Kids: Citizens of Everywhere and Nowhere.” BBC Worklife, BBC, 18 Nov. 2016, www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20161117-third-culture-kids-citizens-of-everywhere-and-nowhere.