Monthly Archives: November 2016

Letter to my Printer

Dear Printer:

I guess it’s true that people don’t realise what they have until it’s gone.

I am formally apologising right now: I’m sorry for always being mad at you. In retrospect, I may have overreacted. Everyone messes up occasionally, I guess everyone has to malfunction and spew out papers with only one line of gibberish instead of my homework. Heck, I even forgive you for refusing to listen to me and not print at all.

Remember all the good times we’ve had together? I’ll never forget those late nights I spent sitting on the floor, slumped against the wall next to you, exhausted, slightly delirious, waiting for you to give me my Chem lab report. What about the time you finally printed out my sheet music a week after my performance ended? And the multiple occasions where I had to force shut you down for attacking my brother by spraying paper at him? Good times.

Jokes aside, beyond my impatience, you were alright I guess. Even if it took an hour to print 3 pages, it’s still better than no paper at all.

The truth is, I’ve been taking you for granted, and that was terrible of me. I need you. I really do. Without you I can’t get anything done; it’s like part of me is missing (the part where I’ve handed in my reports).

By the looks of it now, you’re not doing too well. Did I do anything wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I’m sorry for always complaining about you, I really am.

Now please don’t die on me please please please I have a paper due tomorrow.

*Update: It actually stopped functioning this should have been a eulogy instead