Categories
My Brilliant Friend

The good, the bad, and the ugly of friendships

Hey blog!!

I can’t believe this is the last book I’m reading for this class. Time is so crazy. Anywho, this week’s read was My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. This book follows the very complex friendship between Lila and Lenù, and how their connection progresses as they grow up in a dangerous Naples neighbourhood.

The best way I can describe Lila and Lenù’s friendship is that it’s kind of like an onion. It has many layers, some more superficial than others, and messing around with these layers can be very tense and painful, even if by accident (because onions make you cry no matter what). While there is a lot of support between them, there is a lot of jealousy and tension between the two. It felt as though their friendship traversed the thin line between codependency and symbiosis, with them being good for each other sometimes and harming each other at other times. Regardless, they remain connected to one another.

I think a lot of women can see some of their old friendships within Lila and Lenù’s connection, and I fall under that category. This mix between helping and harming, looking up to and being jealous of, and how these dichotomies still create meaningful experiences throughout our lives is very real. Not every friendship is just positive. I think we learn a lot about how to handle conflict and, in a way, heartbreak, when we have big arguments and problems with our friends. At the end of the day, we just want things to work out,  and we hope the trust we have in one another will help us overcome issues we might have, but sometimes the perception of one another becomes so warped due to your own struggles that the friendship can’t really survive these new differences.

Furthermore, there is the fact that Lenù kind of wants to “be” Lila. I was actually chatting to a friend the other day, and we were talking about how sometimes younger siblings want to be just like their older siblings so that their parents can treat them the way they treated the older sibling. This dynamic is so harmful psychologically because you are basically telling yourself you are not worth being who you are. You end up later in life with no idea of who you are and what you enjoy, because you were so busy trying to be someone else. I feel like with Lenù wanting to be like Lila, we see some of that. Lenù wants to be seen and reacted to like Lila is by her peers, so she decides the easiest way to do that is to be Lila. But Lenù can never be Lila, just like a younger sibling can never be the older sibling, because no matter how much you try to become like someone else, ignoring who you are will always catch up to you.

This was a long but very cool read!! I really liked how the book portrayed the not-so-pretty aspects of friendships, since they happen to everyone and yet aren’t talked about much. I can’t believe this is my last read for this class!! I’d say it was a great novel to wrap things up.

Last but oh so certainly not least, we have the final entry to my

Freud Tally!!!!!!!!!

This week, we had many complex relationships between characters, but no Freudian ones!! I can’t believe how far we’ve come. This means My Brilliant Friend is our final entry into the “Knows Freud had no credentials to do psychology” category, officially ending the Freud tally. And my “the only titles that can make Freud proud are the single word ones” theory survived the whole course!!! That is very interesting, but I don’t know what to do with this information LOL

✨Freud Tally!!!!!!!!!✨

Makes Freud proud- 2 (Combray, Agostino)

Knows Freud had no credentials to do psychology- 7 (Mad Toy, The Shrouded Woman, The Time of The Doves, If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller, Money to Burn, The Book of Chameleons, My Brilliant Friend)

Thank you so much for reading, see you guys next week!!!

Categories
Agostino

“We shouldn’t be fucking MILFs, it ruined my life”- a MILF’s son’s memoir

Hellooo once again blog :)) (please know I went a medium bit above the word limit, so this is a longer one, sorry not sorry)

This week’s read was Agostino by Alberto Moravia, and I can openly admit I went into this book with the wrong expectations. When I read the blurb in the “choose your own adventure” page on our website, I was like “Oh cool!! Agostino is gonna figure out he is gay!!! Ok Moravia, very progressive writing for your time there, I see you!!”. Oh, how I was wrong. I was so, SO wrong.

So yeah, little rich boy Agostino is head over heels in love with his mother.  Just completely enamored. I thought Combray was bad when it came to the mommy issues, but Agostino tramples that. Multiple times over. The whole book follows the idea that Agostino used to see his mother as something akin to a saint, but with this vacation, he realizes his mom is a very desirable woman to the people around him, and apparently to him as well. Everyone wants to fuck his mom, and the book is 102 pages of Agostino realizing that apparently so does he. I have to admit, the journey for this kid to get to this conclusion is full of some very well-written emotional turmoil, but that doesn’t make this any less weird. I mean, it will never be not-weird to read about how he goes from “wow my mom is so beautiful everyone should be jealous that I row her boat” to “I hate my mom >:((” to then go “oh shit I guess yeah, my mom is a Woman and hot, and I guess I am indeed attracted to her”… But at least its well written!!

I *have* to mention how sex is depicted in this book. It’s depicted as something wrong, and as something that should be illegal and hidden, and yet happens anyway. We have mom and pretty guy literally fucking on the boat while Agostino is there (which by the way, WHAT THE FUCK.), then we have the boy gang being in charge of teaching Agostino what sex is after bullying the shit out of him. Which leads us to Saro and the fucking boat. WHAT ARE WE DOING? Why did my only hope for adult supervision of these troubled boys turn out to be a PERVERT?!?!?! Man….. You’d think we’d stop there. We don’t! Because we have the whole brother sequence of events to go through still. All of this goes to say that the way intimacy and sex are depicted throughout this book makes it seem so taboo, which I think was an interesting choice.

The last thing I want to mention is how innocence is depicted. Throughout the whole book, Agostino is set on not being a boy but being a strong, not innocent, capital m Man. And he almost feels anguished when he fails to be that. He keeps hanging out with these boys who are so clearly being horrible to him because he so desperately wants to grow up. He wants his mom to see him like she sees the pretty man. Which is incredibly Oedipus complex-y, which Freud would be very proud of. But what really gets me is that at the end of chapter 3, we see that there is a part of him that does not want to be a Man. He realizes how much of a toll growing up takes, and he says that “The dark realization came to him that a difficult and miserable age had begun for him, and he couldn’t imagine when it would end” (67). Yes, puberty fucking sucks, but not as bad as Agostino is making himself believe it is. But then again, I wasn’t a teenage boy in love with my mom when puberty hit me, so maybe the death of innocence would really seem like the end of the world if that was the case. But overall, the depiction of innocence and the loss of that is such a key and interesting line to follow throughout the story.

As you can probably tell, this book was a rollercoaster. I was constantly asking myself, “What the fuck is going on right now?”, and then continuing to read with my eyebrows increasingly higher on my forehead and my jaw dropping increasingly lower. But it was an interesting read. Not my favourite so far, but definitely an interesting experience. I leave you with this final question: What the fuck is up with these older stories and having little boys be in love with their moms? Why were we doing that?

Now, before I go, I need to tell you that the title fight for this blog was very tight, and the runner-up was “Freud must have been so upset he died 5 years before this book was published”. With Freud in mind, I decided to start the-

Freud Tally!!!!!!!!!

This is where I’ll be tallying all the books I read for this class based on whether they would make Freud proud or not, aka if they present “little boy has a weirdly romantic and sexual relationship with his mom” syndrome.

So yeah!! Thank you for reading, I’ll see yall in the next one :))

✨Freud Tally!!!!!!!!!✨

Makes Freud proud- 2 (Combray, Agostino)

Knows Freud had no credentials to do psychology- 2 (Mad Toy, The Shrouded Woman)

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