(content warning for: rape, misogyny)

This is a hard post for me to write, because I am trying to “get it right”. This is not my story, but this is something that needs to be talked about.

My friend recently shared a post on Facebook that talked about the definitions of sexism & racism that was met with quite a few comments that challenged the definitions listed.  Challenging opinions is expected, because often times definitions in social justice go against the grain of what we have learned, and start what can be the very painful process of unlearning.

It is this pain that can sometimes be channeled into anger, hate, and various acts where the end goal is to silence what (or who) has caused this pain.

For my friend, she was met with abusive messages in her personal inbox, after the individual had made public comments on her post. Her inbox was transformed into shades of red hot anger by him.

“Get raped”

“You feminist piece of  [crap].”

There are words he used here that I can’t post here: Words that aim to hurt women (the c-word). Derogatory words that aim to shame women who have sex with women (starts with a ‘d’). These words are very specific acts of violence that aim to silence people.

So what happens when we publicly reject these words and hold people accountable for their words on social media (Facebook, in this case)? “community standards” happen.

“community standards”: a big title for something that only protects very specific narratives and very specific people that fit into the brand of Facebook.

Those people and narratives who do not fit within the “community” are silenced.

This is something that is so much bigger than this story, because this happens every day but is especially prevalent towards women, young children, LGBTQ+ folks, people with disabilities, and people of colour.  The narrative of the survivor of violence is silenced and is told to rejoin a society that profits off of rape culture (that being anything that normalizes rape/threats of rape/aids in silencing survivors).

I stand with my friend in this unimaginable time: where they have tried to take her voice, tried to kick her while she is down.  What they don’t know is that she is stronger than the walls and doors of silence, and together we can break down and rebuild these forces that try to silence the most important voices.