Category Archives: FoodPornography

Wait For Life

Hola frienditos. Let’s get some late night nachos or something, ya dig.

It’s a new term. It’s a new year. Not a whole lot has changed, but perhaps I didn’t really need some radical change in my life unless I was like running a marathon or something. (which I am not) (shoutout to that one time I did the SunRun and like pushed it to every social media network.) (seriously, banana stuffed french toast > training for a marathon)

(The Twisted Fork has this dish I have described above if you’re now craving it like I am.)

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I feel like just recapping my 24 hours, like a snapchat would. let’s do it:

Food:


(last night)
– some gummies, some more gummies, fuzzy peaches, those really big sour keys that unlock the depths of my bitter heart (jk I’m not that bitter)
– a bag of Brookstone Pomegranate chocolate little river rock things. seriously they are small like river rocks. mmm
– some stream water
– I’m totally kidding, it was tap water
– seriously, did anyone see Wild. She can’t get water at one point, and it was a scary time in the movie #oscarcampaignforReese

(today)

– do I have time for coffee? nonono, I’m going to be late for meeting my prof
– this is the part where I would have a really sad photo with no coffee
– I eventually got coffee at like 12:30
– also an almond croissant
– for a moment I spelled almond like this: almold
– this is turning into a really raw, vulnerable blog post where I bring all of my insecurities to the top
– Thai tomato soup
– a sandwich with some roast beef, jalapeño havarti and banana peppers
– my working title for this blog post was banana pepper
– I totally lied it was just banana
– seriously I am getting so vulnerable right now, like I am the ocean and you can see right through me
– banana
– I seriously had a banana
– cinnamon toast crunch
– yeah, okay, sometimes I relive the childhood of sugary cereal that I never had whatever it’s my life (it’s now or never)
– candy, mmm

Sküle

(last night)
– CRWR 301A:
– weow i’m so good at le poetry
– no but really I should’ve packed food

(today)
– GRSJ 224C:
– wow what a long article
– really, wow
– oh
– oh
– that’s what he meant
– re: I didn’t have time for coffee

CRWR 205:
– omg I am so good at le creative nonfiction
– wow prezi is so much better than powerpoint
– you know what’s cute,
-this almond croissant-

 

TV:

– American Freak Show
-well, American Horror Story (colon) Freak Show
-seriously, don’t/even/bother finishing the season
-control+alt+delete

– Mindy Projéct
– the accent is for fun
– they went to Paris
– jk they went to San Fran
– San France
– now the accent makes sense
– au revoir

– Girls
– Hannah is also in Paris
– she eats a lot of croissants
– we have a lot in common
– i’m kidding she’s in Iowa
– …
– … Iowa
– I’m sure the potatoes are sublime, though.
– wait
– wait
– that’s totally Idaho

– Shameless
– it’s summer in Illinois
– woo South Side
– Gentrification
– Starbucks Jokes
– Starbucks Lovers
– Taylor Swift “Blank Space”
– baby mama drama
– with the show, not Taylor

Music:

– Wait for Life – Emile Haynie ft. Lana Del Rey
– yeah, I titled the blog post after this
– shocker, right?

– Heart Beats Slow – Angus & Julia Stone
– I kind of forgot about them for a bit
– I missed them

– Roscoe – Midlake
– I heard it in a thrift store this one time
– yeah, cool it’s from like 2003 it’s basically vintage

– Lilies – Bat for Lashes
– We don’t really know where this came from
– I discovered her back in 2010
– then got curious
– curiosity killed the cat
– but satisfaction brought it back

– Hey Yo – Brooke Hogan ft. Colby O’Donis
– remember Brooke Knows Best Brooke Hogan
– remember the guy on “Just Dance” with Lady Gaga
– they made a song together!

Misc.

– I’m using a perrier bottle as a water bottle
– is this pretentious or thrifty?
– I haven’t quite decided yet

 

 

~~Learning~~

hallo.

welcome back to the possibility wasteland. holla.

—

whoa i finished first year.. ssssssssssshhhhoooooooooooooot

Seriously, that’s basically me… ^^

 

Transit + Other Drugs

It’s been a crazy year, yo. Like, I can still remember my first days on campus, being woken up on the bus by some other student. And like, now I can basically wake myself up on the bus. T A L E N T.

um. what else. i don’t recommend catching the 4 late at night. take the 99 because it comes more often, and then take the skytrain because the broadway-city hall station is really close to a Whole Foods open ’till 10PM and a Save-on-Foods open ’till 11PM. seriously, late night snacking ftw. ALSO MCDONALDS OPEN 24HRS there.

personal tip is try to get to school before like the huge rush (8:30-9AM??) cause then like you can get Starbz in the SUB or something without a grande line-up.

erm what else idk. learn to sleep on buses, but don’t fall asleep on other people because then people write things about students that aren’t very cooool.

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Food

seriously i spent hella money on food this year and like pro-tip would be to bring it from home, or find someone that you kinda sorta look like and steal their meal plan, (pref. varsity plan) no srsly. kidding.

stealing is bad, tho.

but like there’s no such thing as a bad sandwich. (mhm. dont quote me on that. perhaps my sandwich game is just really stong.)

also:

-subway is mreh. dont go expecting anything amazing. they are not made with love.

-the salad bar is pretty overpriced.

-the deli knows what’s up

-the burger bar is pre sketch. like sometimes they don’t cook the chicken all the way. i saw it. the fries are aiight.

-bernoulli’s is what dreams are made of. cinnamon cream cheese on a chocochoco chip bagel. WORD.

-Vanier’s has rlly good pasta and like the wraps are good, albeit, overpriced. don’t be afraid to go and check it out, even if you’re a commuter or don’t even go to ubc. we know who you are.

-venturing into the village never killed anyone, and like that place down the stairs, by the McD’s has some really stellar options for cheap Chinese food after like 5PM.

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Bookz

the bookstore hates you and does not have your best interests at heart.

might i suggest doing some research before hand and trying to buy it off a student a la UBC Textbooks for Sale – Facebook Group??

Maybe buy it off Amazon?

Maybe go to that place in the village that claims to be cheaper idk.

BUT LIKE MAYBE ALSO DO YOUR RESEARCH SO THAT YOU BUY THE RIGHT ONE IF U TAKE MEASURES INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.

AND THEN YOU WONT BE OUT 30$ BECAUSE SOME CHICK SCAMS YOU FOR HER GERMAN 100 BOOK WHICH IS ACTUALLY NOT EVEN GOOD FOR REALLY ANYTHING. (im not bitter at all.)

 

Sanity and Goals and Self-Worth

YEAAAAAAAAH idk.

All I can really say on this topic is try to prioritize, and time manage as best you can, and get all your assignments in on time.

Pro tip # deux is surround yourself with cool people who motivate you, and think you’re hot apple pie, because there are days when you will feel like you are leftover fruit loops in the box, outside the bag, that someone forgot about.

you cannot do this alone.

try to get involved, and get outside, and get a reasonable amount of sleep, and dont drink too much coffee.

i know i sound like a really concerned parent raining on a parade of college freedom, but seriously your mental health is gonna take a really bad turn if you go on some sort of no sleep, full-sugar bender.

self-worth: find something you love and hold on tight to it, because there is going to be so much other stuff flying at you during the year, you may lose sight of it.  whatever happens, don’t forget to look down at what you decided to hold on to for yourself.

goals: pfft those are for second year. pFFFFFFFFT.
no seriously, set realistic goals, and be prepared to make sacrifices.

 

Concluding Statements:

first year was pretty rad for me, but i certainly had some tough times.

i’d like to thank my family, and my social circle for providing food, and emotion support. y’all are like a river rock and you catch me when i’ve gone down the creek a little too far.

title for this blog was inspired by this:

more to come on first year advice. i got some stories, yo.

shoutout to all the peeps who got admitted to ubc, and all the peeps that start summer courses this week (me, holla). it’s gonna be CRAAAAAAAY. RAISE THE ROOF. FLASH THE PEOPLE DOING CONSTRUCTI– ok never mind, that was a tangent. this isn’t freakin’ Spring Breakers.

k byeee~

 

 

 

 

Happy(?) Holidays

Greetings, and welcome to back to The Wasteland.

Today, I will attempt to articulate more of the things that actually go on inside of my head.

So, cool, since like we’re all saying it and stuff, I’ll like give into peer pressure, and acknowledge the fact that I had to throw away recycle my 2013 page-a-day calendar.

This of course means that like the holidays are now officially over and that we are supposed to move on with our lives and start something new, and deal with the repercussions of the holiday season, which no one really acknowledges.

I mean, they’re supposed to be filled with joy and cheer and all that, but what if they’re not?

Well, folks, then you are proclaimed as a grinch, and everyone forever just writes you off for the season.  But, like there are some serious happenings:

a. ca$hMoney$wag

Not gonna lie, I kinda spent the panettone amount of money, on my wonder bread budget.  I mean, I was just really behind on my shopping after a certain point and things got out of hand.

Not like it’s serious, don’t worry y’all, it would just be nice to not have to go into the New Year being super frugal.

It’s cool.  Walmart does have Mr. Noodles, though. And I hear those jazz sticks mix well with bologna. also side of ranch with that. hey girl.

b. Food

It’s the time of the year to “indulge” and “treat yourself.”  Stuffing your face full of Stovetop is completely acceptable.

–Flash-forward some time and you’re now expected to work out every single day and become some new person, with some great new bawdy laik wow omg.

But, real talks, I have a box of Himalayan pink salt caramels that aren’t going to eat themselves.

c. Persona

You’re totally expected to be this new person, who is super optimistic and positive, after the holidays. With all these goals, and new healthy activities. And then if you don’t do them you’re like a failure or something. I don’t understand.

I mean, yes, it’s the first of January, but be your own person or something, and don’t let a calendar dictate to you which days you want to bring change into your life.

You’re not going to dramatically change overnight.

UNLESS:

– you buy a month’s supply of Proactiv. sponsored by Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson, Adam Levine, or everyone else who doesn’t actually understand what severe acne is.

-Or, like cut off three and half fingers…

so transforms. much change.

 

d. Drama

So much family time is bound to end in some skeletons coming out of the closet, right?

Same goes with your friends too.

Let’s not forget about “holidayting” a person: only dating for the holidays, because of loneliness.

But, like on the bright side, who needs cable with all of the drama happening in your life? I mean cancel your Netflix too, and save yourself $8 a month, and go buy some bags of ice for all the burns your friends dealt out.

And, like that fancy grade popcorn, none of that microwavable stuff. You earned the bag of white cheddar stuff for all of the cheesy, romantic nonsense that discharged from the mouths’ of the “holidaters.”

the struggle is real…

—

So holla. The holidays are a weird time.

I’m just gonna go eat soup and take some selfies until school starts.

 

MILKIN’ IT. #RIPPLEEFFECTUBC

So, I actually got myself out on campus today to see a ripple effect lab!

It did not involve birds.
It did not involve planes. (cry)

IT
INVOLVED
COWS.

And, not just any cows, DAIRY COWS.

So, like, I drink milk, eat yoghurt, dream of ice cream, steam some cheese, dollop the sour cream, delight in fro-yo, cry happy tears into bowls of whipped cream. Yeah, I’m basically a milk addict. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO guyz, it’s no shock that I would jump at the chance to go learn more about where all of this stuff comes from.

Today I was greeted by the lovely faces of a dairy cow, PEARL, and a three-week-old calf, SAM. Both obviously had that celebrity cow charm, but it was Sam who took the cake, like the EYES on that kid. Basically, a future Island Farms model.

HEY, SAM!

 

He was potentially the most endearing thing on campus that I saw all day.  He isn’t even old enough to know when he’s full or not, so he just spent the majority of the time after his feeding looking for things to suck on, after the bottle was gone.  I don’t think I’ve “aweh-ed” out loud that much, ever.
Don’t tell anyone I have a sensitive side.
This can’t get out.

ANYWAY, He’s supposed to grow up to be about 1600-1800 pounds. I mean. DANG BOII.
Not only is he going to be buff and handsome, he also showed tremendous talent, walking at the age of only 2 hours!

Artsy shot of the feeding. #SamLyfe

[pause for reflection of what I was probably doing at the age of two hours…]

His veteran partner, Pearl, though, has quite the story, too.

PEARL, in the background, plus milking machine, plus milker/presenter extraordinaire…

She currently lives in Cloverdale, BC, and enjoys semi-long walks around the farm.
She needs to be milked about two, to three, times a day, or else.
She produces up to about 2240 jugs of milk, in the 10 month lactating cycle. (So, like all of the ice cream I eat?)
She got a tongue, that is 12 inches long. GURLLLLL. You, go.
She needs to chill out for an hour, after being milked, and not lie down, or ELSE her teats will be at risk for disease. (Gosh, it is hard being famous. I feel her pain.)
She enjoys a mixture of corn, grass, alfalfa, hay, and different ground grains for her meals.
She drinks about 120 litres of water, per day.
Each teat has its own compartment, which is why each one needs to be milked.
And, finally, her milk won’t leave the province, because it’s BC milk, and it’s meant to stay here.
BECAUSE
Canada does not export its milk, outside of the country.

For me, this was an awesome Ripple Effect lab, because I got to learn more about how much dairy, one cow actually produces.  It also reaffirmed my belief that more meals can be made out of a dairy cow’s resources than simply a cow meant for meat.  And, hey, that’s pretty sustainable.

So, with #RippleEffectUBC coming to a close tomorrow, I know I will leave with a more enlightened perspective on how I can fit more sustainability into my everyday life, as well as plan for a future, with even more lifestyle changes.

But, for now, I’ll just stick to eating ice cream out of the carton.

The Late Night Snack Chronicles: Croutons/Ice Cream/Nutella

Hello, and good evening, to all the wonderful peepers that are now glazing over, whilst reading this sentence!

My name is Derrick, and I am a late night snacker!

Even at the ripe age of eighteen, I have yet to figure out how to eat proper meals throughout the day – and it is this that gives me the “hungry horrors,” on basically a daily basis, at sometime around 9PM.

Tonight was no different, I am sad to say.  The cupboards were just seductively calling my name!

Tonight’s object of desire: Croutons. Yes, croutons.

But, not just any croutons, Cabbage Patch kids, I’m talking Fresh Gourmet Parmesan Caesar, Multi-Grain ones (A.K.A. Salty Crunch City, USA).

But, then, those led to me just grabbing the tub of Bryers Vanilla Ice Cream from the freezer. Because where is salty, without SWEET!? (Seriously, try to answer that question.)

And then I was all, “BUT VANILLA IS SO PLAIN.”(we’re trying to spice up our love life, okay?)

So, the jar of Nutella showed up to my party, and basically everything was just popping. Like, we basically danced all night to the best song ever. And mutual enjoyment was had by all.

But my stomach is totally going to be hungover in the morning from all this excitement.

All in all, though, I REGRET NOTHING.

~MAY YOUR LATE NIGHT HUNGER REST IN PEACE.~