Category Archives: iRegretNothing

I’M PREGNANT

(Cool, it’s good to know that pregnancy at a reasonably young age still gets people’s attention. Like, my faith in humanity has been temporarily restored.)

So, let me be the first to say, HAPPY OCTOBER…! (Okay, minus the happy, right?)

But, seriously, we’ve almost made it through a month.

Can you hold on for a second, life? You’re going by too fast.

In that time, I’ve encountered countless new faces, countless questionable hot dishes, and one priceless look from my ASTU prof, when I walked in late, with a cob of corn hanging from my mouth.

Last week, though, I had to give birth to my FIRST academic paper. [shrieking]

The experience was pretty terrifying/exhausting mentally.  I basically felt like I was on 16 and Pregnant, and I was going to shoot out something that would basically haunt me for the rest of my life, as it was coming out too soon, with not enough thought put into it.

So, I had to deal with the aftermath of that, which was not doing my readings for my other class that day. And we did an in-class reflection on the readings, which I did not read. And it was 10% of my final mark. And I sort of cried inside for five minutes, but then I wrote down some gibberish on the paper to make it actually look like some “reflecting” was done internally, but really my brain was just like:

But, like, that is what first year is all about, right?

Making every single mistake possible, so that you’ll never make the same one again?

But, I never make the same mistake twice…

…I make it three or four times, just to make sure that it is indeed truly a bad thing.

SO, CHEERS, TO ROYALLY SCREWING UP! GO BIG, OR GO HOME!

and MAY ALL YOUR FEARS OF MAKING MISTAKES REST IN PEACE.

The Late Night Snack Chronicles: Croutons/Ice Cream/Nutella

Hello, and good evening, to all the wonderful peepers that are now glazing over, whilst reading this sentence!

My name is Derrick, and I am a late night snacker!

Even at the ripe age of eighteen, I have yet to figure out how to eat proper meals throughout the day – and it is this that gives me the “hungry horrors,” on basically a daily basis, at sometime around 9PM.

Tonight was no different, I am sad to say.  The cupboards were just seductively calling my name!

Tonight’s object of desire: Croutons. Yes, croutons.

But, not just any croutons, Cabbage Patch kids, I’m talking Fresh Gourmet Parmesan Caesar, Multi-Grain ones (A.K.A. Salty Crunch City, USA).

But, then, those led to me just grabbing the tub of Bryers Vanilla Ice Cream from the freezer. Because where is salty, without SWEET!? (Seriously, try to answer that question.)

And then I was all, “BUT VANILLA IS SO PLAIN.”(we’re trying to spice up our love life, okay?)

So, the jar of Nutella showed up to my party, and basically everything was just popping. Like, we basically danced all night to the best song ever. And mutual enjoyment was had by all.

But my stomach is totally going to be hungover in the morning from all this excitement.

All in all, though, I REGRET NOTHING.

~MAY YOUR LATE NIGHT HUNGER REST IN PEACE.~