004. Saying goodbye (and packing up my life)

by krystalv

“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

So I officially fly out tomorrow and I’ve really begun my goodbyes. I’ve been counting down the days until this moment since April, and I never thought that actually saying goodbye to all my friends would be so hard. My excitement overshadowed the reality of leaving them all behind. We’re all moving on and I’m so proud of each and every one of them. It’s a new chapter ahead and it’s going to be so exciting. But at the same time, these are the people who shaped who I am. The experiences that I had with them in high school, the things we did and talked about. Our crazy lunch times laughing at pointless things seem so far in the past. How boneheaded of me to think that it wouldn’t be hard saying goodbye. I was so caught up in leaving and moving on that I didn’t spend enough time reflecting on how much strength it takes to say goodbye. To move on out and start over again.

I went to one of my best friend’s goodbye/birthday dinners last night and it was beyond tough to really realize that I wouldn’t be seeing her until May 2011 (she goes to Ottawa for Christmas). I know it’s not going to be the same, and I’ve never been really good with communicating via the internet, but I have to try because these friends mean the world to me. I don’t know what I would do without them. Our entire futures are ahead of us, and it’s thrilling to be moving on, but things won’t be exactly this way ever again. I can officially say that reality has smacked me right in the face. It’s up to me to now pick up, carry on and do what I’ve been dreaming of doing for the last three years.

On a less intense note, the packing frenzy began a few days ago. I never realized how much stuff I had until I had to pack it all up into suitcases. Here’s just a little preview of how messy my room was the other day, and how the mess has now migrated into my dining room.