I’m Alive

I promise I’m alive. But I’m also at home and quite honestly, blogging wasn’t my first priority. Sleep was.

It’s been a bit of an odd Christmas. My family takes a trip to Mexico most years and we are due to leave in two days. I’m stoked and very excited, but at the same time, my family is in crisis mode because of a very shitty thing we call cancer. I don’t want to talk about it.

Anyway, it’s made me rethink the whole Christmas thing. And I arrived at the realization that even my very down-to-earth family was “consumed” by the consumption aspect of the season. (See what I did there?) This Christmas, we got together with my dad’s side of the family. It was sort of this big family reunion, with people I hadn’t seen in over a decade sharing a laugh, a cry, a regret. It was really special even though the event itself, to say goodbye to a beloved uncle, was really upsetting. Realizing how much love one family can hold really made an impact on me. Especially during the holiday season, as fake as this sounds.

A lot has been weighing on my mind lately and I think maybe I just needed a place to write it all down. Organizing my thoughts seems to help. That’s lesson number one, kids: write it all out. Then have a good cry and maybe write more.

Sometimes that’s all you can do.

Happy Holidays.

 

OMG TEH EXAM TIME

I just finished my first university exam. It was philosophy and I’m feeling pretty good about it. Finished with an hour left though, which is either a sign of my extreme genius or of my extreme failure. I guess we’ll see. I managed to kill another half hour reviewing my essays so I guess I used all the time that I could.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about the very embarrassing and painful experience that was falling off my bike right before my exam. Yep. I’m that skilled. I wasn’t seriously hurt (twisted ankle and scraped knee and ripped jeans. I want mom.) But I was bleeding a little and obviously was completely mortified. And out of the more than three people that saw, only one quickly asked if I needed a hand. I was shocked when people actually laughed.

I sound old I guess, but I guess I would have liked to think that more people would offer a hand, or you know, hold in their laughter until they had walked past…

Anyway. I write the three hour exam with a napkin on my knee to try to stop bleeding and bike back home feeling confident about the test, not so much about my cycling skills.

I get into my dorm room and I just want to sleep/shower/call my mom/die. I think it’s hit me that I can’t go home for another TWO WEEKS. And I really want to be home.

Anyway, there is a silver lining I suppose. I’ve been in bed for a couple hours watching Friends on DVD (I know, I still use DVDs. I’m a loser.) and eating chocolate and almonds. Also, my wonderful roommate came in and spent time with me hitting a balloon back and forth. So that was great. Life is looking up.