(IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SKIP THE LONG INTRO/EXPLANATION OF WHY I’VE BEEN GONE SO LONG, SCROLL DOWN.)

You may have noticed that I haven’t posted since, well, March. More likely than not, you haven’t noticed and would like me to make the proper re-introductions.

Can do.

I’m Mary. I’m in second year here at UBC and have just declared a Psychology Major in the Faculty of Arts. I like chocolate and music and debate. Because I’m cool.

Why have I been gone so long?

(KEEP SCROLLING)

Well, I had a difficult second term after losing my Uncle to cancer over the Christmas holidays and then I had a very big, very long, summer job that required me to sit at a computer all day. Suffice to say I wasn’t really in a creative sphere. I apologize for this– especially to the other members of the Blog Squad. I do feel as if I’ve let you down and I am so sorry about that. I promise, there is a whole file on my computer of posts I’ve never posted. I did write over the summer, sometimes, but nothing found it’s way here. Call it writer’s block, call it being busy, call it lack of confidence in my writing… all are true.

(START HERE IF YOU WANTED TO SKIP THE MELANCHOLY INTRO)

But today, in my little basement suite in Dunbar, something has changed. And it’s all because of the stupid vacuum cleaner.

I’m living off-campus now and while parts of it are really exciting, parts really are not. It’s been a bit of a journey trying to figure out my rights as a renter and trying to assert those rights to a very busy landlord.

Pay attention kids: one of your rights is that the carpets should be cleaned (not just vacuumed, but actually shampooed) between tenants. Ours were not. (I’ll tell the full story some other time.)

And my carpet absolutely stinks. I have tried everything: baking soda, soap and water, special carpet cleaning solutions, etc etc. And now after everything, I’m finally starting to make headway. Through it all, I’ve been doing a lot of vacuuming. And I guess the last tenants did too.

Because today, I had to empty the vacuum bag.

As I am standing outside pulling dust, hair, a surprising amount of feathers, and what ever the hell else was in there out, I thought to myself: “I have hit a new low.”

That’s when I pulled out the thong.

“Now I have hit a new low.”

Something inside me just snapped. I am a good person. I worked for a charity all summer, I keep my grades up, I do my laundry and cook dinners and eat my vegetables. What had I done to deserve this?

I guess nothing. That’s the way things go sometimes. Sometimes the carpet smells or you’re to exhausted to write or you don’t get the grades you wanted. And yeah, sometimes you’re stuck pulling some stranger’s underpants out of a vacuum bag and then sanitizing everything.

But sometimes, when you write about it, and just stop focusing on what others will think, sometimes you get to see it in a different light. A hilarious, “well it can’t get any worse” light.

Here’s to the year going up from here!

(STOP SCROLLING. YOU’VE MISSED IT. YOU’VE MISSED THE WHOLE THING)