Module 5

Overview

“I believe that serving and being served are reciprocal and that one cannot really be one without the other.” Robert Greenleaf, Educator and Writer.

Reflection of self and skills is an essential component of building coaching relationships.

As you investigate this module, become a reflective practitioner of your experiences and learning. Look for the reflective learning opportunities for the individual you are coaching. How can these tools promote relationship building by supporting the development of trust, rapport, communication and active listening?

Coaching is a supportive relationship of a trusted guide from someone who knows what to do, how to do it and is willing to work with another person to improve themselves and others.

  • To coach is to provide support, encouragement and directed feedback to improve performance. Coaches observe, identify strengths and areas of need, and are committed to the success of the person being coached.
  • The coach is a critical observer of the person being coached and the context.
  • To coach supports a person to clarify and achieve goals.
  • Problems are valued as learning opportunities.
  • The coach’s commitment is to individual success, and the coach will appropriately push the person being coached to take steps to that end.
  • The relationship is based on trust and permission.
  • Coaching isn’t training, therapy or supervision.

Coaching presence is the ability to be fully aware and create a spontaneous relationship with the person being coached. Effective coaches interact in a style that is open, flexible and confident. This coaching presence appears as the coach:

  • a. is present and flexible during the coaching process, ‘dancing in the moment’,
  • b. applies own intuition and trusts own inner knowing – “goes with the gut”,
  • c. is open to not knowing and takes risks,
  • d. views new ways to work with the coachee, and chooses in the moment what is most effective,
  • e. uses humour successfully to create lightness and energy,
  • f. shifts perspectives and experiments with new possibilities for actions,
  • g. is confident when working with stressful and emotional situations
  • h. can manage own emotions and not be overpowered or deterred by a coachee’s emotions.

Coaching, as outlined in Murphy et. al., is “observing learner’s performances and providing encouragement, diagnosis, directions and feedback. Coaching involves providing motivational prompts, monitoring and regulating learner performance, provoking reflection, and perturbing learners’ models.”

Facilitating, as outlined in Murphy et. al., is “providing technical, pedagogical, managerial, and social activities that maintain sustained and authentic communication between and among coaches and those being coached.”

Watch this video clip about coaching. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY75MQte4RU] Think about how your own coaching experience connects to all the concepts and skills presented here.

Focusing Understanding

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” Albert Schweitzer.

Goal: To identify and practice a set of core coaching skills, strategies and techniques that can be applied in a coaching relationship.

“Core” Coaching Skill – Building Relationship

Coaching encompasses a variety of underlying skills and attitudes. Coaches need to attend to the foundations of building the relationship with the individual being coached. Coaches need to attend to what questions to ask:

  • Ask what is important to the learner and what the learner wants to accomplish.
  • Ask the learner questions about how they came to identify that specific priority.
  • Ask the learner what success would look like if they addressed that priority.
  • Ask the learner about their nature and how they work on priorities in their life.
  • Ask the learner what relevant and realistic actions they might take to address the current priority.
  • Ask the learner what they are learning as they work to address their priority.

Adapted from “Coaching Others” http://managementhelp.org/guiding/coaching/coaching.htm

Building Relationship Through:

1. Establishing Trust and Rapport is an essential element to every coaching relationship. Basic trust building relies on several key focal skills. Here are four:

  • Be sincere, by demonstrating interest in personal events and concerns. Create a safe space for conversation by establishing rules of confidentiality. Demonstrate that you will follow the established rules. Be prepared to admit to mistakes or errors in understanding.
  • Be reliable by keeping commitments to your learner. Be consistent in your responses and be available to the learner when needed. Keep promises to the person you are coaching.
  • Be competent by providing information as needed, sharing your expertise and any resources that would support the learner. Share your experiences both positive and ones that have been not so positive. (Do not share ‘war stories’ that would not have benefits to supporting the individual being coached.)
  • Be benevolent by keeping the learner’s best interests as the focus for actions. Have a positive frame of reference when working with the person being coached.

2. Communication, done effectively through direct, verbal and non-verbal methods, can have a positive impact on building a coaching relationship. When examining communication techniques, the following considerations need to be reviewed.

  • Be clear and direct when providing information or feedback.
  • Rephrase and reframe to help the mentee understand other perspectives.
  • Establish expected meeting agendas and the purpose of activities to be done together.
  • Use language that is appropriate and respectful to the mentor.
  • Apply metaphor or analogy to help clarify through visualization.

3. Active Listening is the ability to focus with uncompromised attention to the individual being coached, to what they are saying and how they are saying it. Suspending judgment is an important component of this process. Active listening focuses on the individual’s goals, values, beliefs and distinguishes between the words, the verbal and non-verbal information being communicated. Techniques used during active listening include summarizing, paraphrasing, mirroring and questioning.

Facilitative Coaching

Facilitative coaching assists the coachee to move from specific knowledge and skills towards building personal capacity. Coaches can help move the individual being coached to internalize their learning and be transformed throught it. This can be achieved by applying constructivist strategies. According to Bloom et. al. the facilitative coach supports the coachee “in learning new ways of being through observation, reflection, analysis, reinterpretation, and experimentation.”

Reflections

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” Cicero, Philosopher.

Building Reflective Practice through Learning Focused Relationship

Reflection of self and skills is an essential component of building coaching relationships. As you investigate this module, become a reflective practitioner of your experiences and learning. Look for the reflective learning opportunities for the individual you are coaching. How can these tools promote relationship building by supporting the development of trust, rapport, communication and active listening?

What’s Your Style?

Getting to know yourself is a life long process. Use these available tools to help your build relationship with the person you are coaching. Getting them to learn about themselves as well as share their strengths with you is a good way to build relationship. There are many interactive tools available to help focus the conversation. Investigate some of the available tools here. Keep in mind that you would like to share specific tools with the person you are coaching to help build your relationship with them. Find one that would best reflect your comfort level as well as theirs.

1. 50 Free Online Tools to Discover Yourself http://www.bestuniversities.com/blog/2009/50-free-online-tools-to-discover-your-strengths-weaknesses-and-hidden-talents/

2. Learning Styles Inventory – Try one of these learning style activities on your own.

The Ageless Learner at http://www.agelesslearner.com/assess/learningstyle.html

OR

The Index of Learning Styles at http://adulted.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=adulted&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.engr.ncsu.edu%2Flearningstyles%2Filsweb.html

3. Behavioural Styles Inventories – Try ONE of the options presented here.

Review a matrix of Behaviour Styles at http://www.nsba.org/sbot/toolkit/BehavSty.html

OR

Try the Risk Taking attitudes inventory by Gene Calvert found at http://www.SquareWheels.com/content/risk.html

OR

Try the Keirsey Personality Test online – it is free for the basic report with only an email address (set up a g-mail account if you are not comfortable using your regular email) and a password. http://www.keirsey.com/default.aspx

4. Emotional Intelligence – Try this one or any other survey of Emotional Intelligence that is available free. This one is free and no email is required. When it asks if you want to save this test you can by pass by clicking ‘No thank you’.

Review a matrix of Behaviour Styles at http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=1121

REFLECTION TASK

How could you use these inventories, questionnaires, and frameworks to support your efforts to build relationship with the person you are coaching? How will these tools reinforce the core coaching and facilitating skills?

Post your reflections and insights to the Module 5-Coaching and Facilitating: Relationship Building” discussion forum.

Interactivities

“I change myself, I change the world.” Gloria Anzaldua, Writer.

Using Metaphor as a Coaching Tool

1.Turtle Tools

The concept of using “generative metaphor” was recognized by D. Schon as a cognitive tool as outlined in the article “Donald Schon (Schön) – learning, reflection and change”. He described how metaphor supports changes in conceptual thinking. We will begin to investigate how to apply metaphor to the work you are doing with the individual you are coaching. Think of how to apply your skills in trust and rapport, communication and active listening to the next activities.

Reflection Task ONE

One metaphor for life is a journey. Goal setting is like establishing a destination on the journey. Take some time to reflect on the specific goals you could set for yourself as you work with someone in a coaching relationship. Think of a metaphor for the journey you will take together as you work to establish goals.

Post your sentence, links or any other reflections in the Module 5-Coaching and Facilitating: Coaching Conversations”  discussion forum.

Taking the Long View

2. Goal Setting Activity

“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

This is referred to the “Eisenhower Principle” and was how Eisenhower organized his tasks. As a result, the matrix that can be found below is sometimes called the Eisenhower Matrix. Take some time to think about your own work in terms of this matrix. How can it help you and your mentor focus the tasks that are urgent and important? This reflection should connect to the next activity where you will establish goals.

Reflection Task TWO

Think about the core coaching skills. Reflect on the use of metaphor to support coaching relationships. You have worked through these tasks and will now facilitate these experiences for the individual you are coaching. Reflect on how you will support your coachee to use these tools to gather and interpret data, develop interpretations, and analyze and select actions. Continue to reflect on how you are applying core coaching skills. Now work to establish SMART goals for your coaching experience.

Complete a brainstorming plan for a SMART goal that can be achieved with the individual you are coaching. Try ONE of these activities.

  • Construct a mindmap using Webspiration (http://www.mywebspiration.com/) or (https://bubbl.us/) OR graphic organizer (http://www.eduplace.com/graphicorganizer/) OR other planning/organizational tool you are familiar using to present your refection in an interconnected display.
  • Post your goal setting plan, links or any other reflections in the “Module 5-Coaching and Facilitating: Coaching Conversations” discussion forum.

Conclusions

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” Lucille Ball, American actress and comedienne.

Coaching through Difficult Times – Getting to the Heart of the Matter

Coaching does not come without it’s challenges and difficulties. Coaches will need to apply active listening when seeking to understand another individual’s perceptions and assumptions. Applying effective questioning techniques will assist the coach to gather information and assist the individual being coached to clarify their own thinking.

Effective listening when coaching requires that you turn off your own inner voice that would frame a response instead of being fully attentive to the speaker. This technique enables a coach to fully listen to and observe the individual being coached.

Active listening begins when effective questioning is applied. Effective questioning techniques, as outlined by Gary Bloom et. al. in the book “Blended Coaching” (pg. 42) are:

  • Open ended: Tell me about… What do you think about….?.
  • Invitational: It would be great to hear about… Would you consider…..?
  • Specific: How often does this….? What does it look like when….?
  • Evocative: What might this mean? Let’s speculate about…..
  • Positively or Neutrally Biased: What might you learn from this? Tell me what you were thinking.
  • Challenging Assessments: What evidence do you have that ….? How could that be interpreted differently?

Lipton and Wellman describe learning-focused techniques for coaches to apply when supporting a coachee to clarify thinking and gain understanding. These include

  • Paraphrasing: Let me make sure I understand….. I understand the key issue to be….?.
  • Probing: Asking who, what, when, where, how…. Could you tell me more about…..?
  • Pausing: allowing silence to shape the conversation …. paces the conversation for thoughtfulness….?
  • Inquiring: open ended questions, approachable intonation, ask without judgement…..
  • Extending: making data available, developing new understandings, providing resources….

References and Resources

List of References

Bloom, G., Castagagna, C., Moir, E., Warren, B. (2005). Blended Coaching: Skills and Strategies to Support Principal Development. Corwin Press, Thousand Oaks, California.Bloom et al.

Lipton, L., & Wellman, B. with Humbard, C. (2003) Mentoring Matters: A practical guide to learning-focused relationships. 2nd Edition. MiraVia, Sherman, C.T.

Murphy, K. L., Mahoney, S.E., Chen, C., Mednoza-Diaz, N.V., & Yang, X. A Constructivist model of mentoring, coaching, and facilitating online discussions. Distance Education. 26(3), 341-336. Retrieved from EBSCOhost. [Jan 26, 2011]

Smith, M. K. (2001) Donald Schön: learning, reflection and change’, the encyclopedia of informal education. Retrieved Jan. 26, 2011 from:www.infed.org/thinkers/et-schon.htm

Wong, A.T. & Premkumar, K. (2007). An Introduction to Mentoring Principles, Processes and Strategies for Facilitating Mentoring Relationships at a Distance. Retrieved Jan. 26, 2011 from: http://www.usask.ca/gmcte/drupal/?q=resources

List of Resources

50 Free Online Tools to Discover Yourself http://www.bestuniversities.com/blog/2009/50-free-online-tools-to-discover-your-strengths-weaknesses-and-hidden-talents/

The Ageless Learner at http://www.agelesslearner.com/assess/learningstyle.html

Behaviour Styles Matrix at http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=1121

Coaching Others http://managementhelp.org/guiding/coaching/coaching.htm

Coaching Tip: The Power of Metaphors http://managementhelp.org/blogs/personal-and-professional-coaching/2010/08/11/coaching-tip-the-power-of-metaphors/

The Eisenhower Principle: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_91.htm

How Coaching Works https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY75MQte4RU

The Index of Learning Styles at http://adulted.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=adulted&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.engr.ncsu.edu%2Flearningstyles%2Filsweb.html

Keirsey Personality Test http://www.keirsey.com/default.aspx

Matrix of Behaviour Styles at http://www.nsba.org/sbot/toolkit/BehavSty.html

Risk Taking Attitudes Inventory by Gene Calvert http://www.SquareWheels.com/content/risk.html

S.M.A.R.T. Goals: http://sbinformation.about.com/od/businessmanagemen1/a/businessgoals.htm

S.M.A.R.T. Goals – Extended: http://humanresources.about.com/cs/performancemanage/a/goalsetting.htm

What a Turtle Taught Me http://www.goal4success.com/turtle-taught/index.html

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