My top 5 reasons for why I don’t like to do exercise (in no particular order):
- Would rather watch TV
- Would rather eat chocolate icing
- Makes me tired
- Makes me all sweaty
- Muscles ache the next day
You think I’m kidding, but I’m dead serious – I really don’t like to do exercise.
So why have I joined the gym and committed myself to working out 4-5 times a week and joined a running club that meets once a week?
The answer is so that I can eat whatever I want and still look good. It might sound shallow and vain, but it is totally and absolutely true.
I like to eat. I love food. I think eating is one of the most wonderful and sensuous experiences a person can have. I have been moved to tears after an especially decadent slice of chocolate mousse cake and I have transcended to a state of heavenly bliss after a particularly delectable piece of coconut cream pie…..
But I digress.
In order for me to continually have these transcendent experiences with food, I will need to work out. If not, those blissful, heavenly transcendent experiences will go to places that I choose not to discuss at this time and they will give me a shape that I will not be happy with. Vain and shallow, I know, but the truth.
So my exercising journey began 2 weeks ago. I went to the gym and spent a half hour on the elliptical. I wish I could say that it was a great experience and that I was now embarking on a love affair with the gym, but that would be a BIG lie. After working out I was all sweaty, achy and tired. The only reason why I didn’t quit in the middle of the workout was because my gym had installed a flat screen TV and I was watching an episode of “The Real Housewives of New York City”.
And the only reason why I kept going back to the gym after a week of this torture, was because I kept getting complimented by random people on how refreshed and bright my face looked. I know it’s vain and I know it’s shallow, but it worked.
Perhaps as the months progress I will start exercising for other reasons, such as improving my health, managing stress levels and increasing my energy levels.
I sincerely doubt it, but you never know…miracles do happen.
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So, after one week do you notice where this is going? We’ll all be seated in a lotus position eating chocolate covered granola, watching a video of Pierre climbing Mt Baker! That’s not a bad thing either1 🙂
Great, now i want some coconut cream pie.
Thanks a lot, Shierley.
Vain and shallow or not, but the last time I saw you, you were kinda rejuvenated, with the light beaming out of your eyes, and a slight impression of nimbus hovering over your head… Well, maybe not, but hey, keep at it, and maybe I will stop calling you chubby 😉
I agree with you Ted. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to watch Pierre climb a mountain while we meditate over food.
Sorry to start the crave monster Jolene. I promise to talk more about celery next time.
Anton, you and I both know that you have never called me chubby…because if you had, you would have ended up with a coconut cream pie in your face! 🙂
If you guys really want to see me climb Baker, air-lift that coconut cream pie to the top! I’ll break the land speed record to get to that puppy! Oh yeaahhhh!
Shierley, it is precisely because of the coconut cream pie fear that I never called you chubby to your face. “Chubby” is just how I like to think of you, and refer to you in the presence of others 😉
It’s a deal!
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