For the past few years, the transition from August to September has heralded the playing of that Christmas favorite so marvelously sung by Andy Williams: “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of Year.
While a particular retailer has utilized this song to portray the unbridled enthusiasm of parents preparing their equally unenthusiastic children for school, I ascribe to another interpretation, admittedly of particular interest to the males species of this planet and of which I humbly acknowledge my membership.
That’s right. It is that time of year where 99% of the male population (the other 1% is travelling somewhere on business) goes into For Your Eyes Only training camp. And I am not talking James Bond here. This is a training camp to prepare for another season of a television-viewing gauntlet so ominous and so daunting that only ‘professional’ viewers can participate, let alone survive.
I am referring to the start of the CFL and NFL seasons, Hockey Night in Canada and the continuing of golf, soccer, baseball and other popular sports too numerous to list in one blog. And if it is not challenging enough to come up with the most bizarre, yet acceptable, excuse known to the universe to secure a seat on the couch for Saturday and Sunday afternoon matches, enter The Challenger:
The leaves on the front lawn.
Never before has such an innocent and beautiful example of Nature been held in such dubious repute by millions of men throughout the globe.
“Hey – they looked fine on the tree. There was no need for them to change color and fall.”
Sorry – Nature does not work that way.
“And we are to believe that it is merely a coincidence that their falling on the ground and our requirement to pick them up just happens to occur during the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?”
Sure.
The conspiracy theorists (crazy sports fans) say that, in ancient times, women prayed to the gods of falling leaves in August as a loving reminder to men that they should be working and getting exercise beyond the sweet warm days of grass cutting and pleasant strolls around the block. These same conspiracy theorists have gone strangely missing but I would suggest that, the next time you are raking your front lawn, sift through your neighbor’s pile of freshly-raked leaves and we’ll talk.
Gentleman – Grab your rakes or you will miss the fourth quarter as well!
And before you utter one word against that exquisite piece of nature, think about the exercise you are getting and how it might add years to your life.
I repeat – years.
Who’s leafing…I mean laughing now?
Next week: AMAZEing Corn Fields
Have a week of good health.
Rick
