Definitions Draft
The criteria for the definitions assignment was to define a complex term in our professional field to someone who comes from a different background. I chose to define “cookies” because it is a word that comes up often when browsing the web and a couple of my friends have asked me what cookies are. When I tried explaining cookies to them, the feedback I received was that they were more confused because I used additional technical terms in my definition. The first thought that came to my mind was that I need to imagine explaining cookies to myself when I was not a computer science student. I focused on using simple words. After reading the textbook, I learned what a sentence, a parenthetical and an expanded definition consists of. After reading the example provided in the textbook, I realized it was easy to identify the purpose of each section because they were labelled with meaningful headings. Therefore, when I started writing, I wrote headings for each of my paragraphs. Not only are the headings helpful for the user, they also help me as a writer stay focused on the purpose of each paragraph.
Receiving a Peer Review
My teammate Jenny reviewed my definitions. After reading the peer review she gave me, I appreciated her honest feedback. I liked how Jenny gave me positive feedback on the parts that she thought I wrote well and the parts that need improvement. She pointed out that my sentence definition was too long. She suggested a shorter sentence definition to make the readers more engaged. I am aware that I tend to be quite wordy when I write. However, after editing my draft, I did not realize it was too long. After reading it again, I can see how others may find it too long because I put too much detail in the definition. I edited the sentence by taking out the details on what information a cookie can contain. This is information that should be in the expanded definition.
Jenny also noted that my visuals may be confusing for readers who only scan the document. For example, they may wonder why there is a cookie (pastry) in the visual. She suggested using an abstract figure. It was a difficult decision because I chose the visuals to show the readers the difference between browsing with cookies and without. In the end, I decided to add another visual in the example section of my expanded definition.
Giving a Peer Review
It was my first time giving someone’s writing a formal review. I found it challenging trying to create a template and give feedback in a way such that it does not sound too critical. Dr. Paterson’s blog mentioned that knowing what we are looking for before reading the document will make our review both positive and critical. I used this technique and wrote down my initial impressions. I noticed that Jenny uses less words when describing her term (computer drivers). This is something I can incorporate in my writing to make it more engaging. After reading it multiple times, I gave honest feedback on what I thought was written well and pointed out the typos/grammatical errors I found. I hope Jenny finds my suggestions useful.
In most of my previous English classes, only the professor gives feedback on the writing when it is being evaluated and there was no opportunity to make the necessary changes after receiving a mark. I enjoy the writing process of this class because we have the opportunity to improve our writing assignments after it is peer reviewed. I hope my writing skills will improve as the course progresses.