childhood – RMST 202

Agostino……… I guess I should be thinking with an open mind and critically or whatever… But I cannot stand these nasty boys! From literally the first few pages I was already uncomfortable. Why are these boys always so obsessed with their moms.? Like okay. From the first page I already knew what I was getting into with all this jealousy and fixation on his mother and her looks. But oh my god bruh.

One moment I HATE is when the novel describes Agostino’s mother as “still in her prime,” which felt so rude and unnecessary. What does that even mean? It just felt instantly misogynistic, like her value is tied to desirability, even though she’s literally just existing as a mother on vacation. Maybe I am just being nitpicky but I’m already in a bad mood, so whatever.

I feel like there is this common but WEIRD trope of a beautiful single mother and her son, where the son is obsessed with the mom and hates her bf because the son lowkey or highkey wants her.. and this trope is often played as like a gag or something… Maybe I’m making this up… But Agostino and his mother’s relationship is basically that… IT’S ALWAYS FREUD. Their relationship isn’t even like entirely unhealthy.. it’s just a bit odd.. Like his mother isn’t doing anything wildly extreme. She’s affectionate, maybe a little self-absorbed, and kind of weirdly drags him along on these boating “dates” with her young bf. I don’t even know if neglectful is the right word, but it’s definitely inappropriate and confusing for a child..

Once Agostino learns about sex I guess. Everything gets worse. The knowledge “destroys the aura of dignity and respect” he had for his mother (p.42), which is such a gross idea in itself. Like, women can’t be respected once they’re sexual? OMG leave her alone! Why are we watching our mother half naked? Why are we hoping to catch her naked!? Obviously, I understand there are deeper psychological and symbolic readings here, and I’m probably engaging with this at a surface level… but I still hated it.

ALSO. I hated reading about the group of boys. They’re cruel, violent, misogynistic, and constantly humiliating Agostino. The way they talk about women, especially Agostino’s mother is disgusting. LEAVE HER ALONE… And I can’t deal with Saro. This 50-ish-year-old lifeguard hanging around these kids. Why is he here? Why is he so nasty? And what exactly is being implied about what happens on those boat rides? Like. Just control your WILD gang of children. NASTY.

I think I get that the novel is about the loss of innocence, class difference, and masculinity. But I really disliked how that innocence was contrasted against “savage,” poor boys and sexualized women. Like. Of course these poorer boys are nasty, love sex, are evil and animals! Oh but this rich, sheltered, boy is sooo innocent and loves his mom! But now he is “TAINTED” by these BROKE ANIMALS!! WHATEVER…….. Yes I should try to look back on this novel with a more open and mature lens but I really don’t want to think about this 13 yr old boy being attracted to his mother anymore. Sorry. This book made me uncomfortable from start to finish and maybe that is the point, but still. YUCKK.

Also, sorry this may have been my most poorly written blog so far! I promise I know proper grammar and have a university level vocabulary…

My question: Do you think Moravia uses discomfort, especially around class, sexuality, and Agostino’s relationship to his mother, to critique these dynamics, or does it end up reinforcing the same misogynistic and classist ideas it exposes?

Hi everyone,

My immediate reaction post-Proust reading is that I’m confused but I think I understand the gist of it. Throughout the text, I found myself lost at many points and when I thought I was getting into a flow, I would realize I was completely misinterpreting or missing details. So I ended up circling back and re-reading sections quite a bit… I thought some of the wording and description was a bit lengthy and muddled, but a lot of this is probably due to my inexperience with this genre of literature. As I mentioned in my intro post, I’m more used to the straight-to-the-point and more grounded scientific or historical articles (which can also be wordy but in a less artistic way?) I’ve studied in previous classes.

Anyways, despite all this, I think I enjoyed the reading. I was really interested in the beginning where the narrator was describing his experience at Combray as a child wanting his mother’s affection and his father’s disapproval. The description of how important the ritual of just his mother’s goodnight kiss was and the lengths he was going to get this when M. Swann’s visit denied it is embedded in my mind. It reminded me of something that’s been mentioned in many of my classes and even at work: the significance of parental affection for childhood development and how such a small gesture can have such a profound impact on a child. The scene of him sobbing with his mother when she stays with him for the night instead of punishing him for staying up just for a kiss really struck me. When she begins to read to him, the text just laments on how beautiful and gentle her voice is, as well as how much care she takes in speaking… Wow! I found it sooo sweet. I think maybe I am just emotional or really appreciate themes about mothers and their children…

Moving on, I also found the way Proust connects memory, place, and emotion quite compelling, even if it was confusing to follow sometimes. I can really relate to the idea that certain rooms, smells, or foods (like the narrator’s madeleine cookie and tea) and can carry such emotional weight and bring us back to specific moments. It made me think about how a lot of our lives are shaped by seemingly unimportant details and associations.

In all, although I was, at times, a bit lost in the language, I found what I could understand visually stunning and absorbing. Hopefully reading the literature will get easier with more practice throughout the semester, but I’m so far enjoying it either way!

My question is how do you think the narrator’s lack of parental affection affected him and his emotions (especially around love/attachment) later in life? Also, how could this connect to research in real-world studies on childhood development?

Thank you for reading!

Tag: childhood

YUCK

proust