memory – RMST 202

Wow… Writing this immediately after finishing the book, all I can feel is overwhelmed and a bit amused. This has been my favourite read so far, which is not too surprising! I knew I would enjoy this novel more than Proust and Breton just because its written from a woman’s perspective… but still, wow! Ana María… what a woman!

What really struck me is how full her life feels, even though we only see it through memory and death. She has lived through so much. Her first love with Ricardo, complicated romantic and sexual desire with Antonio and Fernando, familial bonds with her father and her children, and intense friendship with Sofía… There are so many different forms of love explored, and none of them feel shallow. The painful ones feel especially real.

My favourite sections were the ones describing her experiences with Sofía and María Griselda. The relationship with Sofía really stood out to me because of how intense it was despite being so brief. They only knew each other for six weeks, but their curiosity toward each other was so deep and immediate.. There’s so much intimacy and then the betrayal! And it all feels so devastating even though it’s so quick. Just thinking back on it… Sofía was the wife of Ana María’s first love… her husband cheated on her with Sofía… and their overall intense affection for each other… just messy!!!

María Griselda’s section was also unforgettable. Her beauty is described as almost violent, like it traps her instead of freeing her. The line about her loneliness, “any expression that could have made her recognize herself as a link in a human chain… Oh what loneliness was hers!” (p. 203), honestly hurt to read. She’s admired, desired, envied, and completely isolated. Her beauty turns her into an object rather than a person, trapping her in a kind of emotional prison. The entire scene, inadvertently caused by Marías beauty and ending in Silvia’s death, was so fascinating and vivid.

As I kept reading, I found myself becoming more and more curious about Ana María’s life. I wanted to know more about what she didn’t choose, what she regrets, what she didn’t understood while she was alive. I found it interesting that these were the moments that surfaced at her death. Out of her entire life, these relationships and experiences are what define her final reflections. It made me think about memory and how we don’t remember our lives evenly some moments just carry more emotional weight than others.

Overall, I really enjoyed this novel. Maybe because I am so nosey and love reading about all of this drama! All of the relationships and experiences felt so real, intimate, and human. I found myself genuinely invested in Ana María’s life, wanting to understand her choices, her regrets, and the emotions she never fully resolved while she was alive. Reading the novel from the perspective of death made everything feel reflective and so brutally honest. I was forced to see Ana María’s life and feel everything she had ever felt. It was so fun.

My discussion question: Why do you think these relationships and moments specifically resurface for Ana María at her death and how did they impact her?

Hi everyone,

My immediate reaction post-Proust reading is that I’m confused but I think I understand the gist of it. Throughout the text, I found myself lost at many points and when I thought I was getting into a flow, I would realize I was completely misinterpreting or missing details. So I ended up circling back and re-reading sections quite a bit… I thought some of the wording and description was a bit lengthy and muddled, but a lot of this is probably due to my inexperience with this genre of literature. As I mentioned in my intro post, I’m more used to the straight-to-the-point and more grounded scientific or historical articles (which can also be wordy but in a less artistic way?) I’ve studied in previous classes.

Anyways, despite all this, I think I enjoyed the reading. I was really interested in the beginning where the narrator was describing his experience at Combray as a child wanting his mother’s affection and his father’s disapproval. The description of how important the ritual of just his mother’s goodnight kiss was and the lengths he was going to get this when M. Swann’s visit denied it is embedded in my mind. It reminded me of something that’s been mentioned in many of my classes and even at work: the significance of parental affection for childhood development and how such a small gesture can have such a profound impact on a child. The scene of him sobbing with his mother when she stays with him for the night instead of punishing him for staying up just for a kiss really struck me. When she begins to read to him, the text just laments on how beautiful and gentle her voice is, as well as how much care she takes in speaking… Wow! I found it sooo sweet. I think maybe I am just emotional or really appreciate themes about mothers and their children…

Moving on, I also found the way Proust connects memory, place, and emotion quite compelling, even if it was confusing to follow sometimes. I can really relate to the idea that certain rooms, smells, or foods (like the narrator’s madeleine cookie and tea) and can carry such emotional weight and bring us back to specific moments. It made me think about how a lot of our lives are shaped by seemingly unimportant details and associations.

In all, although I was, at times, a bit lost in the language, I found what I could understand visually stunning and absorbing. Hopefully reading the literature will get easier with more practice throughout the semester, but I’m so far enjoying it either way!

My question is how do you think the narrator’s lack of parental affection affected him and his emotions (especially around love/attachment) later in life? Also, how could this connect to research in real-world studies on childhood development?

Thank you for reading!

Tag: memory

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