Tag: relationships

DOVES

Hello…. Usually when writing my blogs I go back and look at my notes from while I was reading. This time… I see there is a LOT of anger. Which is actually pretty normal for me, but wow. So this blog is basically a running list of all the times Quimet pissed me off. plus a few extra thoughts…

First of all: I did not like this man from the start. SWEATY? AND STINKY and pushy, does not take rejection, immediately starts calling her Colometa (PIGEON GIRL??). The way he just decides they’re getting married after basically five seconds is already a RED FLAG. And Natalia girl…… If you are already running from a man the first night after meeting him… you need to keep running…

What really pissed me off is how early the control starts. He shows up late and doesn’t apologize, and she immediately assumes it’s her fault (“maybe I hadn’t heard him right…”). That moment on page 20 hurt because you can literally see her shrinking herself in real time. Then the neck grabbing (p.25)? The pinching (p.27)???? The constant jealousy over her boss?? It just escalates and escalates. He is CRAZY and ABUSIVE.

And the Maria thing… oh my god. The way he keeps bringing up this mysterious Maria had me SO suspicious. It really reads like psychological manipulation… keeping Natalia insecure so she’s always trying to prove herself. When we later find out he probably never even knew a Maria (p.121), I was like… yeah. Exactly. Control tactic. #manipulation….

What makes the novel especially painful is how Natalia internalizes everything. She keeps doubting herself and keeps adjusting herself for him. His Dumb Ass Motorcycle scenes stressed me out he KNOWS she’s terrified and still speeds around. ANOTHER way he makes her feel small. Also why the hell are you taking a pregnant woman on a motorcycle? or a baby???? YOU ARE STUPID.

The doves I think feel symbolic of Natalia herself. She is trapped, with multiplying problems, the house filling with suffocating noise and growing mess that she has to manage alone. Her exhaustion, weight loss, and constant fear make it very clear how domestic life and these dumb ass birds she didn’t even want are slowly consuming her.

And then the war hits and somehow things get even worse. Lowkey when Quimet went off to war I thought that maybe she’ll get some peace?? But of course Natalie cannot catch a break. Now there is poverty, starving children, just war… The scene when she has to leave Toni at the camp and he’s begging for her to not (p.136-137) and then when she’s literally contemplating ending it all (p.146) were so heartbreaking. I really struggled to keep reading.

There are so many moments I have written in my notes about this BUM. Quimet. But it’s actually making me upset thinking about this man again. The way he laughed at her during their “wedding night” when she expressed her fear (p.51) made me so angry for her. And how she still fears him after his death (p.171)!! I’m just thinking about Antoni Sr. AND I just remembered PERE woww (just p.55-56 I can’t). I had to stop taking note of everything that was upsetting me because it was taking too long for me to get through the novel…

Overall, I really did enjoy this book, even though it was emotionally brutal. It felt painfully realistic in its portrayal of marriage, gender power, and war. I was constantly angry, constantly stressed for Natalia, and honestly just sad at how real her situation still feels.. Just wondering when will I get to read a novel where there is not a man for me to hate on….

Question: Do you think Natalia is ever truly free from Quimet by the end of the novel, or has his control and treatment of her permanently shaped how she sees herself and her life?

bombal

Wow… Writing this immediately after finishing the book, all I can feel is overwhelmed and a bit amused. This has been my favourite read so far, which is not too surprising! I knew I would enjoy this novel more than Proust and Breton just because its written from a woman’s perspective… but still, wow! Ana María… what a woman!

What really struck me is how full her life feels, even though we only see it through memory and death. She has lived through so much. Her first love with Ricardo, complicated romantic and sexual desire with Antonio and Fernando, familial bonds with her father and her children, and intense friendship with Sofía… There are so many different forms of love explored, and none of them feel shallow. The painful ones feel especially real.

My favourite sections were the ones describing her experiences with Sofía and María Griselda. The relationship with Sofía really stood out to me because of how intense it was despite being so brief. They only knew each other for six weeks, but their curiosity toward each other was so deep and immediate.. There’s so much intimacy and then the betrayal! And it all feels so devastating even though it’s so quick. Just thinking back on it… Sofía was the wife of Ana María’s first love… her husband cheated on her with Sofía… and their overall intense affection for each other… just messy!!!

María Griselda’s section was also unforgettable. Her beauty is described as almost violent, like it traps her instead of freeing her. The line about her loneliness, “any expression that could have made her recognize herself as a link in a human chain… Oh what loneliness was hers!” (p. 203), honestly hurt to read. She’s admired, desired, envied, and completely isolated. Her beauty turns her into an object rather than a person, trapping her in a kind of emotional prison. The entire scene, inadvertently caused by Marías beauty and ending in Silvia’s death, was so fascinating and vivid.

As I kept reading, I found myself becoming more and more curious about Ana María’s life. I wanted to know more about what she didn’t choose, what she regrets, what she didn’t understood while she was alive. I found it interesting that these were the moments that surfaced at her death. Out of her entire life, these relationships and experiences are what define her final reflections. It made me think about memory and how we don’t remember our lives evenly some moments just carry more emotional weight than others.

Overall, I really enjoyed this novel. Maybe because I am so nosey and love reading about all of this drama! All of the relationships and experiences felt so real, intimate, and human. I found myself genuinely invested in Ana María’s life, wanting to understand her choices, her regrets, and the emotions she never fully resolved while she was alive. Reading the novel from the perspective of death made everything feel reflective and so brutally honest. I was forced to see Ana María’s life and feel everything she had ever felt. It was so fun.

My discussion question: Why do you think these relationships and moments specifically resurface for Ana María at her death and how did they impact her?

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