salami

… I think this is one of those books where I was interested the whole time, but also never fully trusted what I was reading. Which I think was on purpose? The novel felt less like reading a normal novel and more like following someone’s obsession in real time. The narration kept pulling me in and then immediately making me doubt everything. Right from the beginning, Cercas gives us: “Three things had just happened: first my father had died; then my wife had left me; finally, I’d given up my literary career. I’m lying” (p.3) like… if you are already correcting yourself in the opening lines, then how am I supposed to take anything that follows as simple truth? It immediately invites us to question the facts of the story, and I felt like I was constantly doubting the narrator for the rest of the novel..

What I found really interesting (and also confusing at times…) is how the whole novel is built on different versions of the same story. Cercas is constantly collecting accounts from different people, and no one seems fully reliable.. When Mazas’s son tells his version, Cercas literally says, “I don’t know whether or not it is strictly true; I’m just telling it as he told me” (p.12). That line stuck with me because it feels like the novel is less about finding one truth and more about showing how truth gets passed around, shaped, and exaggerated. The story of the execution and escape especially felt like this. Even the characters in the book admit that it “sounds like fiction” (p.22), which I agree with.. a soldier finding Mazas in the forest and choosing not to kill him feels almost too perfect..

Also… I have to say, I didn’t really care about Mazas. I don’t care about fascists.. whatever.. I was more drawn to the unnamed soldier, the “friends of the forest,” and later Miralles. Aside from the obvious issues, Mazas feels kind of underwhelming as a central figure. His survival depends on luck and other people helping him, not on any kind of bravery. There’s even that suggestion that he kept telling the story because it “redeemed his cowardice” (p.27) which is probably true. So I was actually really glad that the novel shifts focus away from him. The soldier who chooses not to kill, the villagers who risk helping him, and Miralles all felt way more meaningful and compelling to me.

I also liked how the novel challenges simple versions of history. One quote on page 17 stood out a lot: “Some nationalist historians insinuate that the ones who burned down churches and killed priests were from elsewhere… It’s a lie… what pisses me off are those nationalists who still go around trying to sell the nonsense that it was a war between Castilians and Catalans, a movie with good guys and bad guys” (p.17). That idea that history gets simplified into these narratives really connects to the whole structure of the book. It feels like Cercas is pushing against the idea that there’s one clear story or one clear side. And also it kind of reinforces the idea that history is told by the winners. Mazas, as a fascist who survives and later gains status, is remembered. Meanwhile, the Republican soldier who maybe did the most morally significant act in the whole story is basically anonymous or forgotten.

Overall, I think I enjoyed the narration and the ideas more than the actual “plot.” I was confused a lot, but in a way that made me think more about how stories are constructed and remembered.

My discussion question: If the most morally important figure in the novel is the anonymous soldier who history forgets, what does that say about the reliability and purpose of historical narratives?

im not sure..

IM ALWAYS CONFUSED. Extremely lost once again… but it also seems like everyone in this story is also confused and stressed and repeating themselves so maybe it’s fine..

First of all.. The narration style really threw me off at first. There is SO much repetition. Characters say the same thing over and over but in slightly different ways… and sometimes literally the same way again. I think every character does this constantly and also the narration.. So I guess it may just be the style of writing but whatever.

The dialogue is also insanely long. Characters will just start talking and talking and talking. Bazil especially… oh my god. This man LOVES a monologue. Half the time I genuinely felt like he was speaking about nothing?? Just long philosophical speeches about politics or society that spiral into nowhere. And everyone just kind of sits there listening… I was reading at an embarrassingly slow pace because I kept getting lost and having to go back to reread these giant paragraphs but I still DONT KNOW what was being said….

Another thing I struggled with was the characters themselves. There are a lot of them and they all seem kind of connected through this weird childhood friend circle. But honestly… I kept losing track of who was who. Ali, Ioana, Felicia, the “Guileless One,” Bazil, Dina… and then the narrator keeps giving them different labels like “the Kid,” “the Learned One,” “the Researcher.” I kept getting confused while reading and thinking who are we talking about now?? I think started to understand more as the story went on but wow.. I might be like. a bit airheaded…

Dina especially confused me. Everyone seems to talk about her in this weird way. Sometimes they sound kind of mean about her, like she’s pretentious or awkward. But then later she becomes almost tragic or mysterious. I never fully understood what was “wrong” with her or why everyone acted so strange around her… I felt sorry for her but I was still confused on this whole situation.. I understand her husband? is odd… something is wrong with him.. and she is like rich?? and they are not?? but still.. I’m just not sure.

and I still have not talked about this coat situation like what is the difference between a raincoat and trench coat to these people why does it matter? Perhaps the war actually.. If I am remembering correctly, there was some conflict???? trench as in trench warfare….. or something.. not sure……..

It just felt like there was this giant sense of dread and like nervousness in every scene. Like something bad or someone bad is going to come and it connects to the coat.. Felicia literally goes on this giant confused rant trying to figure it out (p.242-243), repeating questions over and over: “How did they get the keys? Why are they meeting in apartments? What does the coat mean?”  Even though nothing actually happens, everyone seems extremely nervous. There’s this constant sense that something bad is happening in the background but nobody can fully explain it.

By the end, when Dina starts wearing the trenchcoat herself and walking around with the “Learned One,” I was even more confused. Ioana completely freaks out about it, acting like something deeply sinister is happening.. what is going on…

So.. I think I really don’t have much to say about this novel because I am just so confused. I feel like I can’t even form a thought on it.. except that it made me stressed.

Question: Do you think the constant confusion, repetition, and circular dialogue in the novel are intentional ways of showing unease and stress in the characters, or they just make the story unnecessarily difficult to follow?

 

DOVES

Hello…. Usually when writing my blogs I go back and look at my notes from while I was reading. This time… I see there is a LOT of anger. Which is actually pretty normal for me, but wow. So this blog is basically a running list of all the times Quimet pissed me off. plus a few extra thoughts…

First of all: I did not like this man from the start. SWEATY? AND STINKY and pushy, does not take rejection, immediately starts calling her Colometa (PIGEON GIRL??). The way he just decides they’re getting married after basically five seconds is already a RED FLAG. And Natalia girl…… If you are already running from a man the first night after meeting him… you need to keep running…

What really pissed me off is how early the control starts. He shows up late and doesn’t apologize, and she immediately assumes it’s her fault (“maybe I hadn’t heard him right…”). That moment on page 20 hurt because you can literally see her shrinking herself in real time. Then the neck grabbing (p.25)? The pinching (p.27)???? The constant jealousy over her boss?? It just escalates and escalates. He is CRAZY and ABUSIVE.

And the Maria thing… oh my god. The way he keeps bringing up this mysterious Maria had me SO suspicious. It really reads like psychological manipulation… keeping Natalia insecure so she’s always trying to prove herself. When we later find out he probably never even knew a Maria (p.121), I was like… yeah. Exactly. Control tactic. #manipulation….

What makes the novel especially painful is how Natalia internalizes everything. She keeps doubting herself and keeps adjusting herself for him. His Dumb Ass Motorcycle scenes stressed me out he KNOWS she’s terrified and still speeds around. ANOTHER way he makes her feel small. Also why the hell are you taking a pregnant woman on a motorcycle? or a baby???? YOU ARE STUPID.

The doves I think feel symbolic of Natalia herself. She is trapped, with multiplying problems, the house filling with suffocating noise and growing mess that she has to manage alone. Her exhaustion, weight loss, and constant fear make it very clear how domestic life and these dumb ass birds she didn’t even want are slowly consuming her.

And then the war hits and somehow things get even worse. Lowkey when Quimet went off to war I thought that maybe she’ll get some peace?? But of course Natalie cannot catch a break. Now there is poverty, starving children, just war… The scene when she has to leave Toni at the camp and he’s begging for her to not (p.136-137) and then when she’s literally contemplating ending it all (p.146) were so heartbreaking. I really struggled to keep reading.

There are so many moments I have written in my notes about this BUM. Quimet. But it’s actually making me upset thinking about this man again. The way he laughed at her during their “wedding night” when she expressed her fear (p.51) made me so angry for her. And how she still fears him after his death (p.171)!! I’m just thinking about Antoni Sr. AND I just remembered PERE woww (just p.55-56 I can’t). I had to stop taking note of everything that was upsetting me because it was taking too long for me to get through the novel…

Overall, I really did enjoy this book, even though it was emotionally brutal. It felt painfully realistic in its portrayal of marriage, gender power, and war. I was constantly angry, constantly stressed for Natalia, and honestly just sad at how real her situation still feels.. Just wondering when will I get to read a novel where there is not a man for me to hate on….

Question: Do you think Natalia is ever truly free from Quimet by the end of the novel, or has his control and treatment of her permanently shaped how she sees herself and her life?

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